Friday, September 27
Ah, yes, the view out the window looks much more pleasant this morning. Sunny. Blue sky. Fluffy white clouds. Well, there is that one dark cloud right over there in the middle, but it's outnumbered, i'm sure it's fine.
Since the weather forecast i had looked at yesterday said today would be sunny and warm, with clear skies, and no precipitation, i took the sleeves off my jacket, packed my things, bid farewell to the Kiwis (Caitlyn and Isaac), and checked out of the hostel. I walked right out that front door and
Rain.
I am getting wet.
It is chilly.
Dang it.
Well, my plans for today were mostly outside, i don't know what i'm gonna do now. It was about 11, my train was leaving at 15:34, so i've got four and a half hours. I don't really want to just go sit at the train station that whole time, so i'll need to figure out something.
Also, like hell if i'm leaving Bern without seeing that baby eater. Rain be damned. I have to go do this one thing.
I got on the bus to Zytglogge. As soon as i hopped off, i found a flat surface to set my bag down, and got those sleeves back. And yes, i picked my bag up when i was done. It would rest on my back for the duration of my adventures in Bern. I would eventually stop noticing it, but it's heavy enough that when i take it off, it's noticeable.
I took advantage of Old Town Bern's covered walkways as much as possible, but in the end, the Child-Eater of Bern is a fountain in the middle of the road. I would have to put up with the precipitation to get close to him.
And there he was, in all his glory. I'd spent so long looking for him in 2013, and a decade since lamenting that miss. I finally stood in his presence.
No one's really sure why there is a statue of a man eating babies prominently displayed in Bern. It was built in 1546, and...that's about all that we know about it. There are many legends, but no one knows which, if any, are true. Some are racist, some are stupid. The one that seems most likely to me is that Kindlifresser, as he's called, is a depiction of the Greek Titan Kronos.
I think Amanda would be pleased to know that i found him. I think she'd be very disappointed to learn that we were literally 70 meters away in 2013. He's right behind the Zytglogge. We just needed to walk past it, and we would have seen him immediately.
Speaking of the Zytglogge, apparently, within the clock tower, there's a UNESCO World Heritage Site that you can pee on, if you have a penis. Hidden in the street-side wall of the tower is a Beetz Patented Urinal. Wilhelm Beetz popularized the idea of public toilets in Europe, including by selling his own designs. This urinal is *supposedly* odor-free and does not require water to flush, a design which is still being manufactured today. A sign above the urinal confirms that this is, in fact, a Beetz original.
There were many of these toilets in Vienna, but most have had their signs stolen and been renovated by now. This one in Bern may be the last remaining original Beetz toilet still in service.
How this urinal became a UNESCO World Heritage site, i cannot tell you.
Not far from that is Mosesbrunnen, colloquially known to the locals as Bunny-Eared Moses. This is another fountain statue, sitting in Münsterplatz, a public plaza outside of the Gerbernkapelle cathedral. Mosesbrunnen was built in 1544 and attempts to reconcile two different interpretations of scripture in a way which, ultimately, satisfies neither. After Moses meets God in the book of Exodus, a Hebrew adjective for him can be interpreted as either "horned" or "radiant." Thus, the debate has continued for centuries as to whether Moses literally grew horns, or if he came back with a halo.
The "literally horned" argument is not as far-fetched as it may seem; in the old days, horns were seen as a symbol of authority or power, rather than having the demonic connotations they tend to carry today. For example, Alexander the Great and Attila the Hun were both known to wear horns.
The sculptor of this statue, therefore, decided to combine the two and attempt to give Moses radiant horns. The result, to many, looks like bunny ears. Iconic.
Right in the middle of Münsterplatz, a man was sitting on a tall stool, pulled up to a piano that was rigged onto a moving dolly with hand truck-sized rubber wheels. He was playing a beautiful composition, and dozens of people had gathered to watch him. As the song wound down and ended, the crowd began to cheer. He stood up, took a bow, and then sat down to play another.
This man was Luke Gajdus. A handwritten sign behind him said that these are all his own original compositions, and gave his social media information to follow him. There was a QR code to send tips, and he was selling CDs for 20 CHF out of a basket. Surprisingly, i did not buy one. Perhaps because i don't feel confident that i could get it home undamaged, perhaps because i didn't have any cash, perhaps because that comes out to like $25 and i don't know if i would ever actually listen to it.
The rain seemed to have cleared up, so i thought i'd risk leaving the safety of Old Town and its covered walkways, and press out a little further, to go see the bears.
Crossing the tall bridge over the Aare gives an incredible view of the city to the right, the gorgeous blue-green river down the middle, and the bear enclosure to the right. I remember this view well. I loved it then and i love it now. There's an old painted sign for what used to be a chocolate factory near the bridge, nice to see that hasn't completely eroded in the last 11 years. It's got to be fading fast.
The bear enclosure is on the side of a steep hill, so all in all, it's probably 4-5 stories tall. Coming from the bridge, i was at the top of the enclosure. I could see one bear pacing back and forth along a trail in the middle. At first, that was the only one i noticed, but as i walked along the fence at the top, i found two others sleeping in sunbeams. This is exactly how i remember them from last time; lying out in the sun, sleeping.
I think there might only be the three in there right now. I thought there were more last time, i can't remember for sure. There were signs up for each individual bear, giving their names and some characteristics. I only found two of these signs, though. I had wondered if any of them would be the same bears we saw in 2013; i don't know how long bears typically live. The first sign was for a bear named Björk. She was born in 2000. Ursina was born in 2009. So, seems possible. I don't know if they rotate which bears are in the enclosure, though.
I took the long staircase down to the water's edge, and walked along the lower edge of the enclosure, looking up. From this vantage, i couldn't see any bears at all. I was heading back toward the bridge, and i found another staircase, which led halfway up. I don't remember this part.
At the top of that stairway, there was a small viewing area, directly below the bridge. A glass wall gave a look directly into the bear enclosure, at their level. It was right at the end of that path, halfway up, that i had seen the first bear pacing back and forth on. Sure enough, the bear was still going. I'd see it approach, then retreat, over and over, although it never got closer than maybe 20 meters.
The back of that viewing area opened up to a street, going away from the bear enclosure. Don't know where that leads, but i knew where i wanted to go next. I descended the stairs, back to the water's edge and across the bottom of the bear enclosure. Past the stairway that led back to the top. I continued along the bank of the Aare.
Within 20 meters of that concrete stairway, the path turned to gravel, and i entered some thick tree cover. Amanda and i had walked this nature trail in 2013, through the forest, with the river close by our side, dragging our suitcase because we hadn't had anywhere to stash it at the time. We were only in Bern for a few hours.
There's a photo i took of her down there that i have always really liked. Perhaps one of my favorite pictures of her. I wanted to find the spot where it had been taken, though i did not know exactly where it was. I just knew it was somewhere along that trail.
In the photo, she's sitting at the water's edge, with her feet in the cool, impossibly teal water. It's peaceful. She's happy.
As i walked, i kept looking for spots where it could have been taken. The water was too close to the trail in most spots, and the land fell off precipitously throughout. I wondered if maybe the ground we'd been on at the time had eroded, or if the water level was higher today, and i would never find it. I did see one spot that i thought might be it; the water was further away from the trail here, but it was a steep incline to get down there. I felt like i would have been unconfident in my footing going down that incline in the best of conditions, but here i was with a heavy backpack, immediately post-rain. I did it anyway, staying upright somehow.
And word number 200,000 in this log is: gorgeous.
As in the view of the river from down there was absolutely phenomenal.
We are also at the top of page 300 in my Pages document. I had never expected to write this much about this trip. This is unbelievable. My 2013 log is 56 pages. I think the New Zealand one is 30-something.
Okay, word count tangent over.
As beautiful as the view was, it wasn't where the photo was taken. I pulled it up again, and analyzed the background a little more closely. I wasn't close enough to the next bridge yet, that was for sure. The bridge is at least ten stories tall, connecting roads on the top of the bluffs around me. But also, there's a tower poking up over the left side of the bridge in the pic - i don't see that tower now. Perhaps the trees have grown tall enough to cover it? The foliage has certainly changed in other ways, i guess it's possible.
I carefully climbed back up the embankment. It's a miracle i made it both ways without eating shit.
Coming out of the tree cover, there's an area where a bunch of concrete blocks are poking up out of the water - perhaps this is or was some kind of dam? I'm not sure. A restaurant has been built atop some of the blocks. I remember all of this from last time. But now i am too close to the bridge - did i miss the spot? I thought i remembered turning around when we got to this point, but that didn't seem to make sense either.
Actually, i remember coming to a park at the end of the trail. I haven't seen that yet, maybe i need to go through this commercial area.
You know what, actually? The buildings on the other side of the river look like the ones in the picture. I consulted it again. Yes, yes definitely...those are the buildings. There's the tower. I know we didn't flip this image, i know it's oriented correctly. Was it actually taken on the other side of the river? Is the spot i'm looking for on the other bank?
Depending on how the river curves after this bridge, it could be possible. The restaurant in the middle of the river also had outdoor seating set up on the land. I passed through that, found a sports complex built directly under the bridge, and now a road along the bank. I walked down the road, which did curve to the left along with the river, until i came to a much smaller bridge that was on my level. From here, the road continued to a series of shops. That didn't seem right.
What would we have done here, last time? We knew we were short on time, we didn't have GPS, we were just walking around and hoping we didn't get too lost. We must have crossed that bridge, to head back.
Oh! Oh, this is it! This is the park!
Alright. Last time, there was a toilet here with an incredibly unique design that i was quite taken by. I wonder if it's still here, you know, for anthropological reasons, but also because my bladder would like to know.
Yes...here's a cinderblock building with that good old WC sign above it...the first and third WC doors look like normal doors, which might lead to full restrooms, but this middle door...it's a little different...
This is it.
The toilet is a huge conical basin with no water in it, leading to a hole at the bottom big enough to swallow your cell phone whole. This statement is as true of a smartphone in 2024 as it would have been a brick phone in 1990. There is a toilet seat suspended vertically at about chest height, which can be folded down over the cone if needed. It flushes like a hurricane. This is what the Scorpions were talking about. When you're done, there's a button on the wall that activates a jet of water you can wash your hands in, which also sprays into the basin of the toilet, so there's no need for a separate sink. There's also a soap dispenser and a hand dryer built into that wall.
I never thought i'd pee in this toilet again. But here i am.
That's two pees in a row into notably weird Swiss toilets.
Just outside that toilet, in this little park, i found the spot. Yes, it was from the opposite bank, it was just past the curve in the river, that's why the buildings are positioned where they are in the background.
I don't know for sure that i was in the *exact* right spot. There are four trees on the bank there, i don't know exactly which two we were between. So i took photos from a couple of them, trying to line up the buildings correctly. I do think the shoreline has changed a little over the years, as well, though.
I started recording a little video clip, talking about the significance of the spot. It's not iconic, like the pic from l'Arc de Triomphe is, or our time on the Eiffel Tower, or anything like that...it's just a picture i really like, of a moment when she was very happy. That's all.
But my voice cracked and i started crying. I couldn't do it. I couldn't talk about this spot anymore.
I don't know why i did this to myself. I said i was gonna stop visiting spots where we had been together, but here i was again. Another special place, another powerful moment, to reduce me to ash and raw nerves.
I'm glad, though.
I'm glad i have these memories.
Even if i can never move past them.
I came to Europe because i missed her, and i wanted to form new memories and reset myself.
Every time i say, "i came to Europe because," i say something different. I wonder if i've even said the real reason yet. I wonder if i even know the real reason.
If i really wanted this to be a clean beginning, an absolute fresh start, i should've gone somewhere we didn't go together. Like Australia, or China, or Brazil. Or i should've just gone to Kenya with Mageria, as originally planned.
But i chose to do a different version of a trip we had already taken.
Because my new life is not going to be 100% fresh. It's going to be built on pieces of the old one. There's nothing i can do about that, short of disappearing abruptly and forging a new identity. And i don't want that, either.
I found a little bench overlooking the Aare, just beyond that fourth tree. I sat there for a while, watching the strong current of the river, until two kids came up and started fishing next to me. I finally got up and left.
I still had two hours until my train. I wasn't quite sure which train station i was leaving out of, though. It was difficult to find a straight answer through either Google Maps or the Eurail app. I was sure i'd come into Bern at a different train station than the one Amanda and i used last time, but i was pretty sure the one nearby was the one we used in 2013. Everything on both my arrival and departure routes just said, "Bern." The one near me was Bern Bahnhof. Is there a Bern Central? Is that where i came in?
Bahnhof was only a 15 minute walk away, so i had plenty of time to figure it out. I decided to just walk over there, and if my train wasn't listed on the Big Board, then i'd have time to figure out what other station i needed to get to, and what train would take me there.
The Swiss Houses of Parliament were right here. Amanda and i had walked around outside them last time, but not gone in. They're always on those lists of what to do in Bern, so i thought, maybe i'll do that too? Eh. Maybe.
They're up the bluff from the river. There's a funicular which can take you to the top. I remembered seeing this in 2013, possibly the first time i had ever seen a funicular, and wanting to take it. But of course, Amanda insisted we take the stairs. Even though i was not a physically fit boy at the time, and we each had a heavy backpack, plus that damn suitcase to pull.
How the times have changed. Now, i am alone, i can do whatever i want, and i am taking the stairs, even with my heavy backpack, because it is what i want to do.
Once i reached the top of the stairs, i could actually see Bahnhof in front of me, just a couple blocks away. But also, the top of that funicular was close, too, and the Houses of Parliament just beyond. I had plenty of time, maybe i would just go walk around them quick?
I started walking in that direction. I was just about to enter a covered walkway, when i heard people yelling behind me. I turned to see three men running right toward me, so i took a step back and watched as they careened into that walkway i was at the cusp of. I had no idea why they were running, i don't speak any German.
Then the two men behind tackled the one in front and held him on the ground. Some punches were exchanged, but the man on the bottom gave up quickly. One of them held him while the other started dialing his phone.
I'd just witnessed a crime.
The shouted German words were probably something like, "Stop! Thief!"
If i'd known any German, i'd have been in a position to help out. I probably could've tripped that guy as he ran past me.
Well, it's dealt with, the cops are likely on the way, and i didn't have to get involved. I don't really want to walk past these guys now, though, so i scuttled the Houses of Parliament idea and went straight for the train station.
The Big Board only showed the next hour worth of trains, but i found a touchscreen kiosk with a full schedule. Yep, there's my train, 15:34 toward Domodossola, platform 7. It didn't have the right identification number, but it had to be the one. And if it wasn't...well, it would still get me to the right place, at the same time.
Alright, at this point, i'm just really curious about what's going on here. I pulled up my Garmin data from two nights ago, and inspected the map, compared to Google maps showing my present location.
It was the same train station.
I'd just come out a weird side door that night, and walked halfway around the station without realizing it. The map looked like a big fishing hook, with the sharp tip lodged in the station's maw.
Alright. Well, since i've got time, how about some food? I don't know that i've had any authentic Swiss food yet, due to all the complications.
There's a lot of restaurants near the train station, but as i saw yesterday, most of them cost more than i usually want to pay for a meal. 40-60 CHF? That's like $45-70.
I was considering going to the kebab place i'd passed down the block, but then i found a vegan place called Veganitas Freshly Baked Pitas, which must be actually vegan this time, it's in the name. I thought it was outside the train station, but it turned out to be in it. This station actually has a wide variety of restaurants, many of which look really good. So i guess i'm gonna go ahead and get train station food.
I got a vegan dōner pita and a chocolate hazelnut cookie, both of which were fantastic and really hit the spot. It may not be authentic Swiss, but i do not regret my decision.
I found a relatively quiet bench to sit down on near my track, and waited, checking through my various news feeds for a bit. My regular mobile data plan resets tomorrow, and i've used less than half of the extra 15gb i had to buy earlier this month, so i may as well blow through it. I don't know if the other 8gb will roll on into next month or not, but either way, i'll probably be fine for the rest of the trip.
The Swiss countryside is god damn gorgeous. I kept picking up my phone to shoot video through the window of all the amazing natural beauty i was seeing.
We stopped in Iselle Transito, the last stop before Domodossola, and waited for a long time. There were announcements over the PA system, but the English version did not give an explanation. It just said we would be delayed 15 minutes, we are sorry, thank you for understanding.
I checked my itinerary. I had a 45 minute layover in Domodossola, so i should be fine. The couple at the table seat kitty corner from me sounded like they would not.
It might be weather-related. It was raining pretty hard by this point. When we got to Domodossola, it was still raining, but the sun was shining through. I walked up and down the platform for a bit, taking photos of the majestic mountain scenery around me.
After a bit, i went over to the main station to find my platform for my transfer to Milan. With that information, and nothing else to do here, at this very small station just inside of Italy, i went over to platform 5 to wait.
There no information on the monitor leading up to platform 5. There was no information on the monitors on platform 5. There was already a train sitting on the track, but most people were still standing on the platform, not entering. The train had no information on the marquees outside its doors, or on the monitors just inside of them.
I walked down the length of the train, hoping one of these doors would have some kind of information on one of its screens, or maybe taped up on a piece of paper, or maybe i could find a conductor and ask. No luck. When i got to the end of the overhang, the last door was open, so i hopped aboard.
I kept walking in the same direction, toward the front of the train, away from the platform. It was mostly empty. I finally found a couple sitting by a window, and i asked them, "Is this to Milan?"
"We don't know," the woman said.
"We hope so," said the man.
"Okay, thank you," i said, and continued forward.
I never found any information, but also, the train did not move. I came to a closed door, which i first assumed meant i'd made it to the front of the train, and there was only the engine ahead. But there was a window in the door, and looking through it, i saw more empty seats, exactly like the ones behind me. So i opened the door.
It was the engine. The engineer turned around in his seat and locked eyes with me.
"Uh...sorry," i said, and closed the door and walked away.
What in the hell kind of optical illusion was that? As i was walking away, i thought, it must have been a mirror, and i was just seeing the empty seats behind me.
But now that i'm typing this...no, because if it were a mirror, i would have seen myself.
Am i a vampire?
I don't know what happened there, or why.
I'm still on the train as i write this...perhaps i should go back up there and check?
Perhaps i should not seek the knowledge which my mortal form cannot comprehend. Hastur Hastur Hastur etc etc etc.
---
The Italian countryside is also unfathomably gorgeous. I spent as much time staring out the window, or taking photos and videos, as i did writing my log on the journey to Milan. These quaint towns and villages sitting at the base of these tree-studded mountains, along these crisp blue rivers, are the very definition of "idyllic." I'm really happy that i took this trip in the daylight, even as i watched it fade.
Milan is the first train station that i have pulled into that had the word "EXIT" in giant letters above the corridor to the street. I don't know if i've written in here how often i've gotten lost getting out of these train stations. My GPS will hardly work inside of them, so every time i pull into a new city, my first priority is simply, "GET OUT." Once i'm on the street, i can find some signal, and make my way to the hostel. That's pretty much why what happened with the Bern station happened.
So anyway, that was nice.
However, it still took a really long time to find signal once i was outside. I started walking aimlessly down the street, holding my phone up, hoping to snare the attention of some wayward satellite.
First impression of Milan is that the buildings down there by the train station are really interesting. I mean like, sure, they're tall, expensive, corporate buildings, but the shapes are like video game buildings. Like the first thing i saw looked kind of like the Agency's central tower in the game Crackdown. Yall remember that one? I think it kind of flew under the radar.
Once i had signal and i had directions, i saw that it was an hour walk. Given that it was nearly 8pm and i had already hauled this heavy-ass backpack across Bern all day, i elected to take the subway and transfer to a tram, which was 25 minutes.
The subways in Milan have tall, double decker cars that look like they should be a long-haul train. They also seem a bit dated, but they're getting the job done, and that's what counts. The two subway stations i was in were both vast and empty buildings, almost liminal spaces, pocket dimensions to make me question reality a little bit. This city seems pretty big, fashion capital of the world, innit? How are these stations this empty at 8pm on a Friday night?
My GPS, predictably, didn't work underground, so i came up from the wrong end of the station, and missed my connection to the tram. Fortunately, it comes by pretty regularly, but i got lost on the way to the tram station, due to Maps still not having any fucking clue which direction i'm facing or walking. Like, the arrow points left, while it moves up, but the road i'm actually on is 65 degrees away from either. Maps, you're drunk. Am i sidestepping through an office building? What do you think is happening here?
The tram is even more outdated than the subway, but it comes regularly, and it got me where i needed to go.
A lot of the hostels i've been in have had bars. Usually they're intended for the hostel tenants, some of them, like Jo & Joe Nation in Paris, are open to the public.
Quo Milano seems to be a wild party bar that just happens to have a hostel reception desk tucked into the corner. This bar is big, and it's loud. If i were 10-15 years younger, i'd probably have a pretty good time here. Also, there's patio seating out front, though i'm not sure whether that's for the hostel or if there's another restaurant next door. As i was walking through the patio, a man walked up to me with a platter of cigarette packs and asked if i wanted any.
From the bar, there's a turnstile that you have to scan your keycard to get through, and then you're in the hostel's common room, which is where i'm sitting right now. There's a clear view to the bar from here, and it's wide open, so the noise carries through. Sorry, the atmosphere carries through. I mean...i don't have to be sitting here, i could probably be up in the room where it's quiet, but i choose to do this.
The room situation is interesting. I'm not surprised that the rooms aren't numbered like they are most places, like, with 101, 102, etc being on the first floor, 201, 202, etc the second, and so on. The last time i was in Italy, when we went to Rome in 2013, i had made a note of how street address numbering is different here, with the numbers ascending starting with 1 at one end of the street, and then looping back down and ending where the end, right across the street from 1. So for example, if there's 100 buildings on a street, 1 and 100 will be across from each other, 20 and 80 will be across from each other, 34 and 66, 50 and 51, etcetera. So why should the numbering of rooms within a hostel be different?
I'm on the 2nd floor, in room 10. So from the ground floor, i climbed the stairs. The first floor has rooms 1-7 and A-B. The second floor is rooms 8-14. I put my stuff in my locker, grabbed my laptop and water bottle, and went back down to the ground floor, to sit in the common room. As i reached the bottom of the stairs, i noticed that the ground floor has rooms 15-20.
The ground floor's currently being remodeled, so i get the impression that these rooms are a new expansion. So...i guess that's one way to handle the numbering.
The hostel seems pretty nice so far. I'm thinking about going and getting a drink, although you're not supposed to bring drinks into the hostel areas, so i'd probably just sit in a corner in the bar and drink alone.
There's a kitschy photo wall across from me right now with cursive lettering above it that says, "Here is to nights that turned into mornigs, here is to friends that turned into family." I did not mistype that.
No plans for tomorrow. I guess we'll see what the day brings.
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