Day 19: Tallinn

Sunday, September 1

Okay. I'm up, i'm packed, i'm getting out of the hostel.
    I ran into the Italian photographer at reception as i was checking out.
    "You're leaving?!"
    "Yeah, i'm heading down to Riga today."
    "Oh! That's right, you said that."
    "Did you guys have a good night?"
    He gave me a cartoonishly overexaggerated look. "Oh man, we had the best time last night! I only got two hours of sleep. That's why i have this!" He toasted me with his tiny cup of espresso.
    We fist bumped and said our goodbyes, never to meet again. Like ships waving as they pass each other by in the day. He's off to Helsinki tomorrow.
    Before i left the hostel's wifi range, i looked up places to eat. I had seriously considered just going back to Hell Hunt, if only for that connection to Amanda, but if i'm being honest with myself the food was good, but nothing special, and Amanda would want me to try something different. And i wanted to try something different.
    I figured the Old Estonia Restaurant in Town Hall Square was probably a good bet for some authentic Estonian cuisine.
    As i approached, a swarm of people came down the street from the opposite direction. I was confused for a minute, then realized that it's Sunday morning, and bells are ringing. Church must be getting out. I was right in the middle of several of those.
    I entered the Old Estonia Restaurant, but there was no one there, except one person behind the counter. The view was obstructed by many things, so i do not think they even noticed me. I waited for a couple minutes to see if that would change, and then the hostess came in from outside and asked if she could help me.
    "Hello, yes, i'd like to get some food?"
    "Sure, we have that."
    She led me outside to a large seating area underneath branded pop-up tents. I had thought these were for a different restaurant.
    I got a grilled goat cheese salad. It came with an array of fruits, vegetables, and nuts, many of which i would normally associate together in a salad, but i'm not a big "fruit in a salad" kind of person. However. The goat cheese came in a singular patty with grill marks on it, but once i split that apart and started coating every bite with it, holy hell, did that flavor profile change. Absolutely incredible.
    I did myself no favors by ordering a Pepsi with this meal. If there was ever a meal i should have paired a wine with, that i didn't, it was this one. The Pepsi just washed all that flavor away. I needed something to compliment it and/or laminate it to my tongue for later.
    I have a lot to learn about food. I really want to learn a lot more about food. And wine.
    It was about 11 when i left the restaurant. So i've got about four more hours in Tallinn, three until i should be considering heading toward the train station.
    So what've i got here that i'd like to do?
    Well. Maybe a little scavenger hunting through the Atlas Obscura, i guess.
    I poked around at the map and came up with a vague idea of a route to take, which would arc out to the east of Town Hall Square, then break south and scoop back around in a huge arc, shooting me off into the northwest toward the train station. I hoped i had enough time.
    As it turned out, all of the things were much closer together than they looked on the map. Tallinn is not a large city, by any means. When Triin told me the population was 1.3 million a couple days ago, i had thought that was for Tallinn; but no, that is the entire population of Estonia. Less than a quarter of Wisconsin.
    A couple of things on the list i only swung by because they were close. First up, Raeapteek, the oldest continuously-operating pharmacy in Europe. The map showed it was on the way to a more interesting destination, but i didn't realize that it was actually still in Town Hall Square with me. Also, it was closed, because Sunday.
    I came to my first intended destination, Saint Catherine's Passage, very soon after. This is a narrow passage between buildings with a distinctive set of arched beams between them, built in medieval times. By the mid-1970s, it had fallen into disrepair, but in the last 50 years, has been revitalized and become home to several creative spaces. On one side, what one was a medieval friary is now an art gallery.
    I was maybe halfway through Saint Catherine's Passage when i looked up and saw a sign that hitched my breath. "Oh shit!" i whisper-shouted, as i realized i'd forgotten something very important.
    I was looking at the sign for The Headless Chicken.
    This is something i'd seen in a reel on Instagram; i never checked my Instagram saves for Estonia when i arrived. This is something i had been very excited about. I cannot believe that i had forgotten it.
    The Headless Chicken is a brand-new establishment, literally just opened in May.
    It is an underground Lord of the Rings-themed bar.
    As you trundle down the uneven, ancient stones which make up the staircase, as is customary in Old Town in Tallinn, probably the first thing you notice is the huge central lighting fixture in the middle of the room, a four-foot-wide reproduction of The One Ring with the Tengwar inscription glowing red. The room is dimly lit, to give the impression that the candles on the table are providing the illumination. The walls are adorned with Lord of the Rings-inspired art, replica weapons, books, and other items that you might expect to find at, say, The Prancing Pony.
    As it was not even past noon yet, i was the only person there. I felt extremely fortunate that they were even open, i would have been very sad if i'd missed out on this because i didn't go on Saturday when i could have. Not as sad as if i'd been checking Instagram in a few days and suddenly realized i forgot entirely, but, you know. It was good to be able to go inside.

    I approached the bar. The tender was dressed appropriately for the theme. "What can i get you?"
    "What's your most Lord of the Rings-themed drink?"
    "Perhaps the mead?"
    I took my pint and wandered around the room for a bit. Not much of a bit; it is very small. The whole place is maybe ten feet by ten feet, square. But i inspected the artwork (much of which was for sale) and display pieces, before finally slinging my backpack off and tucking it into the shadows next to the booth, and having a seat at one of the two tables.
    There was more loose artwork on sheets of aged paper sitting in the middle of the tables. The one closest to me posited that elves and orcs might be related. There was also a flyer to "Join the Order of the Black Numenoreans!" with a QR code, because that is a real thing and not just a bit of flavor. They're a group of Lord of the Rings LARPers in Tallinn that aim to be the biggest LARPing group in the country.
    They also run this tavern.
    I was kicking myself for having eaten at the Old Estonia Restaurant, because this place served food. How incredible that would have been. But even though all i had was that salad, i was not hungry yet.
    In retrospect, i probably should have treated this like i did the spite pizza in Helsinki, and just gotten something to eat, for the experience of it.
    With my pint finished, i climbed those stone stairs again, and emerged back into Saint Catherine's Passage, and turned right to finish it out. On the other side, i accidentally discovered Helleman Tower and the City Walls, another Obscura location that i hadn't planned on seeing.
    These are fortifications that were begun in the 14th century and took nearly 300 years to complete, but when they were finished in the mid-1600s, Tallinn was considered "one of the best-protected cities in Europe." The entrance was near the Passage, and i considered going in and having a tour, but ultimately decided against it. That wall is long, it would probably take a lot of time, and there were things i was more interested in. Plus, at this point, i needed pretty badly to find a toilet, and from the entryway to the museum, it did not look like this was going to provide that.
    Arbitrarily, i turned right, which led me straight to the Tallinn Black Angus sculpture, a bronze sculpture of a bull sitting on a bench like he's a people, outside the Goodwin Steak House. I sat down and took a selfie with him, and then a passing tourist offered to take a pic for me, which i accepted. I usually don't. I don't know why i did this time.
    There was a McDonald's on the corner, so i figured, if anywhere's gonna have a toilet i can slip in and use without paying for something, that's gonna be it. We were approaching urgent levels. I'd actually needed this since i was eating lunch.
    I walked in, walked to the back of the restaurant, and there was a keypad for a code on the door. As luck would have it, an employee was popping out of the door to the kitchen, right next to it, and i was able to ask him to open the door for me.
    Why am i including this? It's padding, to make you feel the passage of time. Because there's a ticking clock running right now that i did not even know about. It's not counting down, though, it's counting up, and the higher that number gets, the more nervous i should be.
    The Obscura map had a few more points in the immediate vicinity that i might be interested in, all showing less than a tenth of a mile away. I stopped into a gift shop to look for patches, but no luck. I have not been able to find patches anywhere on this trip except for Chicago. I don't know why i'm still looking, at this point it would feel silly to start adding them to the vest.
    Somewhere near here should be the Ichthus Art Gallery, it's also listed as being within less than a tenth of a mile from Saint Catherine's Passage. It was back the other way, though, so i turned around and started looking. I went back and forth along the City Wall, and my GPS kept showing me passing it, but nothing looked like the entrance. It's built underneath an old monastery; the stairs up will take you to that tour, and the stairs down go to artist Aleksandr Savchenkov's workshop, where he also displays and sells his wares.
    I could not for the life of me find it. Nothing looked right. Eventually, i determined that it must be behind a locked gate to another walking path; it was the only answer that seemed correct to me at the time. Looking at the Obscura article now, though, i'm realizing that it's the Dominican Monastery that it's under, and i definitely saw that. If i'd passed through their gates, perhaps i'd have found what i was looking for.
    I gave up on finding the gallery and
    oh fuck
    OH FUCK
    I'm not wearing my backpack
    why am i NOT WEARING MY BACKPACK
    i have my passport my wallet my SD cards my phone and all three cameras on my body, but every other thing that i own on this continent is in THAT BACKPACK and i CANNOT finish this trip without it
    where did i see it last?
    I tucked it into the shadows at the Lord of the Rings Bar. It's with Sauron now.
    It had been maybe half an hour since i left. No one else was in there at the time, but it's after noon now, maybe there's a lunch rush? The lunch rush is me rushing back down Saint Catherine's Passage, thanking Gandalf that i haven't made it out of the area yet.
    People were coming up the stairs, leaving the bar, as i entered. I could see three people eating at the table opposite of the one i'd had my drink at. Coming around the corner, i could see that table was vacant.
    There were two bartenders now. They had both taken seats on stools low enough that their heads did not show above the bar, but hearing me rush in, they both popped up like prairie dogs and watched me quizzically.
    It was still there, just where i left it. The shadows cloaked it perfectly, no one would have seen it unless they knew it was there, or tripped over it.
    I lifted it up to show the curious bartenders, including the one who'd served me. "I forgot my entire backpack," i said.
    They chuckled. "Have a nice rest of your day!" one said.
    Thanks. I will try.
    I had messaged Cyndi about the Lord of the Rings bar while i was there. I sent her another one. "WELLLLLLLLL I LEFT MY WHOLE ASS BACKPACK AT THE LORD OF THE RINGS BAR. I went back almost half an hour later and no one seemed to have noticed it. So now we share this heart attack."
    "HOLY FUCKING SHITTTTT" she replied. "Probably good thing it was a LOTR place! Nice friendly nerds!"
    "Indeed!!"
    With palpable relief, i set out to find Kissing Hill, also known as Viru Gate Park. This was another one that i thought i was going to have a bit of a hike to, but it turned out to be right across the street from the McDonald's, i just needed to go up a flight of stairs.
    There was some kind of event for children going on in the park. Two bounce houses, a crowd of people under four feet tall, and a woman with a PA system speaking to them in Estonian. Immediately to my left as i entered the park was someone in a full mascot suit; looked like a wolf. In other words, as soon as i entered Kissing Park, the first thing i saw was a furry.
    It's unclear whether Viru Gate Park obtained the nickname "Kissing Hill" because of the two statues of naked lovers kissing, or if the statues were erected because the park already had that certain reputation, but nowadays it is indeed a known make out point. The first statue is titled "The Moment Before the Kiss" and depicts a standing woman and man in an embrace, their lips just about to touch, their butts out for all to see. The second is "The Moment After The Kiss," and shows the two now down on their knees, arms still entwined around bodies, butts still out, gasping for breath from their activities.
    The butts are a prominent feature of the statues. All i'm saying is, that's a thicc stack of pancakes.
    The two statues were installed in 2007 by local sculptor Tauno Kangro, the same artist who made the Tallinn Black Angus.
    I was about to go find yet another Kangro piece when the sky opened up in a sudden downpour. I stood under a tree with a clear view of them cheeks, hoping i could wait out the rain. Many parents sat on the park benches, huddled under umbrellas, while their kids were ushered out of the bounce houses. They gave it about ten minutes, and then the families all cleared out. I, without an umbrella, did not see any way to leave my tree sanctuary without getting soaked, and anyway i had no place else to go, other than perhaps the McDonald's. The tree was blocking enough of the precipitation that only a few small drops were making it through to my camera, so it seemed a fine enough place to hide.
    After fifteen minutes, it slowed down enough that i thought i could make a move. Do i seek shelter, or carry on to my next destination?
    Come on, we all know i'm reckless.
    I wanted to go back for one more picture of "The Moment After the Kiss" though, because i thought i'd done a better one at "The Moment Before" and wanted them to match. Ass soon as i got that shot, though, the rain returned, and i slunk back to my tree.
    As i stood there, i realized that i was right next to KuKu Klubi, a famous underground night club which played a key role in Estonian independence, and the establishment of their national identity. I had been thinking about looking for it one of the nights i was in town, but did not get to it. Perhaps if i'd had another day or two in Tallinn, like i did in Helsinki and Stockholm...
    You could argue that i've done zero looking for nightlife on this trip, and you'd be right, but this one's a little different, because i knew about it and it was a specific objective. So i may have.
    I wonder if those three dudes from the kitchen ended up there last night at all.
    It was closed at that time, because it was not night, so instead i made my way to "The Lucky Chimney Sweeper," the fourth and final Tauno Kangro sculpture on my list.
    Back in the old days, Tallinn's chimney sweeps had gold buttons on their uniforms. It was considered to bring good luck if you were able to touch one, so these poor chimney sweeps were often inundated by people trying to touch, or even steal, their buttons.
    This statue is meant to homage all of the good luck that chimney sweeps have brought to Tallinn. As such, its buttons have been rubbed smooth, as performing this action on the statue is still thought to achieve the desired result.
    Next, i was looking for the Chopin Bench, a park bench dedicated to composer Frédéric Chopin. I've been to his grave, i've got an 11-year-old bottle of his vodka in my liquor cabinet, i may as well take a moment to go see a singing bench with his name on it.
    The bench is engraved to look like a piano, and supposedly, it plays samples from two of Chopin's concertos. I was unsure if i was supposed to sit on it, or touch the keys, or what, to make it do that. There seemed to be a metal button right in the middle, but it didn't even push in. Maybe it's just one of those contact buttons? Either way, nothing i did could make this bench play music. I could see there was a cable coming up from the ground, so it's powered. Maybe it just doesn't work when it's wet. Maybe it's turned off.
    This bench was a gift from Poland, and there are supposed to be several more in Chopin's hometown of Warsaw. I guess i'll see when i get there.
    I was now back in Freedom Square, an area Triin had shown me the first night i was in town. I was near one of the gentrified former punk buildings she'd told me about that i would've really appreciated in its heyday.
    I only had one more stop on my list.
    Kiek in de Kök Tower.
    It's. It's really called that.
    I can't believe that's what they went with.
    The name is German, it means "Peep in the Kitchen," which is also a strange thing to name a tower, but i guess at least it doesn't literally mean "Kick in the Cock." It is a military fortification, after all. I guess the name is a reference to how the tower is at just the right height, that you can peer into the kitchen windows of the nearby houses. No cock, just voyeurism.
    At first, i didn't think i was going to actually go inside, because of time constraints, but i stepped into the gift shop anyway, and lo and behold, there's a sign up that this and all other University-run museums have free admission on the first Sunday of the month. Today's Sunday. It's the first of the month. Therefore it's the first Sunday. With free admission, how can i say no? Even if i have to speedrun the museum, or just up and leave in the middle, it's not like i'm out anything.
    It was 1:15, i had been telling myself i was going to start toward the train station at 2 for my 3:18 train. I didn't know how far it was to the train station from Kiek in de Kök, but with as close together as everything has been so far, an hour seemed more than generous to get there.
    I scanned the QR code to register for a free entry.
    The earliest time slot with availability was 2:15.
    I thought about just letting it go, and finding something else to do on the way to the train station, but instead, i approached the clerk.
    "Hello, i'm sorry, but i'm not able to wait until 2:15 for entry..." I had a whole spiel planned from there to try and talk my way in, but she cut me off.
    "That's fine, just sign up for whatever time slot and you can go in."
    "Oh. Okay, thank you."
    Past the desk, you are offered two directions: go left to explore the Bastion Tunnels, or turn right to go up Kiek in de Kök. I chose right.
    The museum features exhibits of weaponry, including cannonballs, from the centuries of use Estonia got out of this tower since its inception in 1475. Going up the stairs, you can slink around the exterior of the guard wall, which is adorned with fake, wooden horse heads, and doubles as a seating area for the coffee shop on the third floor of the tower. The fourth floor is dedicated to a restoration of the original tower's furnishings, which was completed in the 1980s.
    Right in the middle of the wall, there's a steep stone spiral staircase you can descend, which leads to a small room partway down the wall, and nowhere else. The steps themselves are so tall and so close together that my backpack kept catching on the stairs behind me. I got trapped down there with some confused, cranky old ladies speaking a language i don't know for a few minutes, but finally was able to go back up. As i did, i put my hand out, at shoulder level, to help steady me on the stairs; standing on the ground, that put my hand atop the fourth stair.
    The wall continued to another building. Inside was an exhibit called "Endless Coffee Forever, which featured a lot of fancy coffee dishes, like pots, saucers, and cups; i wasn't particularly interested, so i breezed through, and found some kind of a furniture exhibit after. This was the end of the line; i had to turn around and go back through everything i'd already passed to return to the gift shop.
    It's just as well. By the time i got back to the start, it was five minutes to two. I figured i'd seen enough, and i could just go to the train station from here, but i thought that i'd pull up the Atlas Obscura article about Kiek in de Kök real quick, just to make sure i wasn't missing an easter egg of some sort.
    Glad i did. I thought it was odd that Kiek in de Kök was on the Atlas at all, as it's a pretty popular tourist destination, being right by Freedom Square and all (although the Atlas also has entries for some of the most well-known sights in Copenhagen, so we know that's not necessarily a good measure). It turns out that the Atlas Obscura article is actually mostly about the Bastion Tunnels, which were added in the 17th century.
    The tunnels were originally intended to shelter soldiers and supplies, plus function as a way to spy on enemy movements, but they were never actually used for this in their era; Tallinn was struck by a plague around this time that, evidently, "effectively removed them from the wars of the time," according to Atlas Obscura.
    After that, they were used to house prisoners for a time, but during World War I were recommissioned as an air raid shelter. During World War II, the tunnels saved hundreds of lives when Tallinn was bombed. For the Cold War, they were outfitted with independent electricity, water, ventilation, and phone connections to shelter the "noble elite" in case of a nuclear strike.
    Luckily, that did not come to pass, so the tunnels became storage for the National Art Foundation, but the Foundation became concerned that thieves and vandals would find their way in, so after a few years, they moved the art to a more secure location.
    After this, the tunnels had no purpose for a while, and fell into disrepair. Then the punks took over. The tunnels have a beloved place in Estonian punk history. Displaced people and rebels hiding from the police started to shelter there as well, as the cops avoided the tunnels due to flea and rat infestation.
    Kiek in de Kök officially became a museum in 2005, and the tunnels were cleaned out and restored as an exhibit. Every era of the tunnels' history is represented down there.
    It was 1:55. I decided i had to see these tunnels, even if just for a few minutes.
    As i descended into the ground, there was a warning sign that proceeding further would cut you off from the outside world entirely; there's no cell signal, no mobile data, no GPS, no wifi. You will be on your own.

    I went anyway. I thought to myself that i prooooobably should have looked up the distance to the train station first, but i did not do that, even knowing full well that if i miss this train, i'll miss my bus in Valga, and i'll be screwed. Missing that train probably means booking another night in Tallinn, which means trying to move my bus ticket, which might mean having to skip Riga entirely. The next few days, everything needs to line up perfectly or else i'll need to abandon some plans and probably lose out on non-refundable bookings.
    And yet, i dove into those tunnels anyway.
    And they were fucking awesome.
    I kind of wish i had just skipped the tower entirely and just gone for the tunnels, i would have loved to spend more time down there. There is so much cool stuff throughout, it's by far the superior exhibition.
    I went through the first few rooms carefully, absorbing what i could, but i really didn't know how long this tunnel exhibit was going to be. It's laid out in reverse chronological order, so the first thing you see is the punk stuff, which is cool.
    I was watching the time nervously, though. It was past two. I thought, i'll give it until 2:10, then i'll turn back. But that's gonna take 15 minutes to return, so i'm not leaving the museum until 2:25 if i do that. Maybe i turn back at 2:05?
    I sped up. After a few chambers, i was basically speedrunning the museum, just letting my camera roll and pointing it at everything i saw, and walking as quickly as i could manage, even though it was often difficult to get past other people. It felt like it might be taking me in a loop? By 2:10, i felt like i might be better off just seeing it through rather than turning back.
    There was a random exit to the surface in the middle, but i chose not to take it. I didn't know it was the middle. I didn't know how much of this there was left, but i decided i was committed to it.
    When i got to all of the art storage, i was really in a hurry, but this is where i started to truly lament that i had not taken more time here. I guess, if i'd known it was free museum day, i would've made it a point to get here much sooner. Possibly even see other museums, instead of chasing Kangro statues through the rain.
    I did eventually come to the end, which did not loop back to the gift shop, but instead deposited me straight outside...in Freedom Square.
    I pulled up directions to the train station immediately.
    14 minute walk. 16 if i swing back to the gift shop on the way, which i did, because there was something i wanted to buy. Also, i needed the bathroom again.
    Plenty of time.
    As i left Kiek in de Kök for the final time, i was zooming through Tallinn, not stopping for anything. I saw a penny smasher!! If only i had coins!! I saw a creepy statue of a hooded figure with hands out, palms up, and no head in the hood! I passed a shop or restaurant of some kind that had a wooden cutout of a dog silhouette swinging overhead as a sign, and they had cut out holes for its eyes and it's anus! I only saw that last one because I WENT THE WRONG DAMN DIRECTION!
    See, this is why i leave extra time to get places.

    It was all fine, though. I still got to the train station with 40 minutes to spare, before my train even got to the station, and had enough time to grab a few snacks at the Circle K. Still blows my mind a little that Circle K is one of the dominant convenience stores here, i've seen them in every city so far. We don't even have Circle K in Wisconsin, i always think of it as an Indiana thing.
    As i walked down the platform where my train would be, i started amassing a following of little birds. They were very interested in the small brown paper envelope of pastries i'd purchased from the Circle K, which quite honestly looked home made. Like some industrious home baker is just making a little side hustle putting little snacks on consignment at the train station convenience store. They were little jelly-filled doughnuts.
    I found a spot to sit, and while i ate, a comparatively giant pigeon dropped into the gathered throng of little birbs.
    Once the doughnuts were gone, the birds all left. I wonder if i should be worried that they did not want my paprika-flavored Pringles?
    I probably shouldn't have gotten snacks, though, i should've just gotten a meal. I hadn't wanted to admit there was going to be another meal before i left Tallinn, because i was lamenting not eating at the Headless Chicken, but since i demolished most of a can of Pringles before the train even moved, i was clearly in need of nourishment.
    Once seated, my first move was to book the hostel in Riga. i selected the Naughty Squirrel Backpackers Hostel, it was the second-highest rated and also one of the most inexpensive hostels i've seen so far. It looks very modern and social, akin to the Oslo and Helsinki hostels, Bunks at Rode and CheapSleep. And they offer activities every night for their guests! Such as Latvian food tasting, Latvian craft gin distillery tour, beer pong, husky dog sledding, Olympic bobsleigh, and AK-47 shooting.
    Wait what was that last...three?
    I think this promises to be an interesting time.

Alright, so like i said, my travel today is hinging on everything going well and if anything gets slightly off, it can knock the whole system out of alignment.
    The hostel's reception closes at 10pm, which is exactly when my bus is supposed to pull in. They can do late check-in, but it requires prior approval. It's a 10 minute walk from the bus station to the hostel. I emailed them, they said it's fine, they will send me late check-in instructions when they close. i was hoping someone would still be there if i wasn't too far over, but it's not imperative.
    The train pulled into Tartu, and a voice came over the loudspeaker. First in Estonian, then English. This is the train's final destination. All passengers must exit.
    Oh shit.
    "If you are continuing on to Valga, please exit the train and board the one on the track in front of it."
    Oh, okay. That sounds simple enough. I was hoping i'd have a chance to go into the station, fill my water bottles or buy new ones, and maybe use the bathroom. I wonder how much time i have for the changeover?
    Everyone else had already stood up and retrieved their baggage by the time i understood the announcement, so it took a moment to put my things back in my bag. I was still ready and standing in line before the train had fully cleared; i don't even think i was the last one off from my car.
    I started walking up to the next train. Right as i reached the nose of the one i'd just de-boarded, it started moving.
    My heart lurched. Oh fuck.
    I started to jog, and the train stopped, because a woman ahead of me had ran toward it and flailed her arms. The doors opened again, and she stepped in. I rushed the door and squeezed through just as they tried to close again.
    The train waited another moment, but as soon as i was seated, it took off.
    Oof. What a rush.
    i can't believe they tried to take off before the other train even finished disembarkation, knowing there were transfers aboard. Transfers who don't even know that they're transferring!
    Ten minutes from the Varga station, i started double-checking all the information for my bus. We should pull into the Varga Train Station at 6:40. My bus leaves at 7:30, from the Varga Coach Station. So i have 50 minutes to make the transfer.
    Okay, where is the Varga Coach Station? I looked it up on Maps quick.
    It's the same building.
    No problem. No problem at all.
    So hopefully i can get some water and go to the bathroom here, since i'll have plenty of time.
    The station was fucking dead. Everyone who debarked the train was walking around the left side of the building instead of going into it, so i followed. Coming around the front, there was a single short, blue bus parked in the bus depot. The destination sign indicated it was going someplace other than Riga, so i ignored it.
    I went through the front doors of the station. There was a wide open waiting area, with only two rows of benches, and a small glass room that looked like a library, so you could have some reading material while you wait. One woman was sitting on the bench, scrolling on her phone.
    I didn't see any obvious signs for bathroom, so i started trying doors. All locked. Then i noticed a hallway beside the library that really should've been the most obvious thing in the room, but my brain disregarded it for some reason. it had a number of symbols above it, including the common European "WC" symbol, for Water Closet. Bathroom.
    Walking down that hallway, i could hear music. I arrived at the WC. There was a small office with doors for Men's and Women's coming off of it. An old woman sat at the desk in the office, watching videos on her phone.
    "Oh, hi. I'm just going to the toilet," i said.
    She obviously did not speak English, but she said some words and pushed a sign across her desk, pointing at it.
    Half a euro.
    "I don't have any cash," i said.
    "Yes, cash," she replied.
    "I don't have any," i repeated, shaking my head. She stared at me. "Thank you," i said, and turned and started walking away.
    She waved me back and said some words, and then gestured toward the bathroom door. She let me go anyway.
    "Thank you!" i said. "Thank you!"
    I probably could have filled my water bottles from the sink in that bathroom. Perhaps i even should have. But i didn't. I'm not even sure they'd have fit under the faucet.
    Instead, i returned to the empty waiting room. The woman had gone. There were still no drinking fountains, or vending machines, or any indication of services at all, beyond the small library.
    There was a TV screen mounted above the seating, though, scrolling through the departure board.
    My bus was not on it.
    Well that's concerning.
    I searched for grocery stores nearby. The closest one was an eight-minute walk. It was just past 7. Spending 16 minutes walking and a few minutes in the store seemed like it would be cutting it a little close for the bus, so i decided against it. Didn't want to take the chance.
    Which means, in order to hit my water goal for the day, which i have never missed in the last five years, i'm going to have to chug a half gallon of water when i reach Riga. Right before bed. Which is always a good plan. I love getting up and peeing constantly all night.
    I really should've finished off my water and bought fresh bottles at the Circle K in Tallinn. On the one hand, i should know better than to trust that i'm going to find that at every stop, when i need it. On the other hand...that kind of trust is the only thing holding this entire trip together, innit?
    I went outside to walk around a bit. The original short blue bus had gone, but another one was pulling up in its place, with another different destination than Riga.
    There was a cement staircase leading up to a pedestrian walkway that crossed the railway tracks. I climbed up there, to see what the view was like, and got some shots of the whole empty rail yard.
    Valga seems like a very lonely town.
    I was only up on that bridge for a few minutes. Three people crossed, but they all disappeared immediately. By the time i came down, the other bus, as well as the only person waiting outside, was gone.
    I was completely alone in a liminal space.
    I stayed outside, just to be sure i saw the bus when it came. If it came; i was still concerned that it had not appeared on the departure board.
    It was 7:25 and there was no sign of the bus. I started to get a little worried.
    I obsessively checked and rechecked that yes, this was the only Valga Coach Depot. Yes, this was the location my bus was departing from. Yes, it was September 1st. Yes, it was 7:30. Yes. The ticket is in order. You are in the correct place at the correct time. It should be a large bus that says "LUX" on the side, not a small blue bus that says "GO." But i've only seen small blue GO buses? Maybe it's not necessarily the bus in the picture?
    Where bus.
    I started texting random friends and messenger groups.
    WHERE BUS.
    I'm in an unfamiliar, possibly uninhabited small town in the middle of a country i don't know and can't speak the language. WHERE BUS. WHAT DO.
    I was too afraid to go inside and try asking the bathroom attendant, the only other human whose existence i could verify nearby, because i might miss the bus if it came through. So i just stood there, and waited.
    "Remember when you and I waited for that bus in Roskilde and I almost had us walk to another spot because it was later than I liked and then suddenly it showed up? Hopefully it will be like that?" Cyndi replied.
    Hopefully! I am just getting nervous!
    I wouldn't be so worried about the bus being late if it were actually on the departure board.
    According to Google Maps, that bus was still scheduled to be real and to depart out of this station at 7:30.
    7:30 came and went.
    7:35.
    7:40.
    Another small blue GO bus was approaching on the road. I wondered if this was it? He turned into the station. I started walking toward the road where he was going.
    He was booking it. He was not slowing down. He careened through the oval-shaped parking area, made eye contact with me, and just kept driving. He was going so fast i couldn't read the sign on the top of the bus, because it was scrolling. I thought i caught "Riga" at the end of the text, but i couldn't be sure.
    And then as suddenly as he arrived, he was gone.
    I had walked into the driving lane, right behind the bus as it passed, and stared into an approximation of where his rearview should be, in disbelief.
    That was my bus, i thought. That was my fucking bus, and he didn't even stop.
    So now i was livid in addition to afraid. I didn't want to have to cancel my hostel, find a place to sleep in Valga, and find a different way down to Riga tomorrow, just to spend less than a day there before needing to move on. I'd probably just skip Riga entirely at that point, which would not be ideal.
    I found the customer service line for Lux Express and called them.
    i got stuck in a queue, and pushed the button for a call back, fully expecting that i was gonna have to be like, "Yeah your driver didn't stop and i'm pissed." Hoping to get that call back before he got too far away, so they could make him turn around and come get me.
    7:45.
    7:50.
    7:55.
    7:57, phone ringing.
    "Hi, this is Lux Bus customer service, how can we help?"
    "Hello, i'm at the Coach Station in Valga, Estonia. I was supposed to be on a bus to Riga, Latvia at 7:30, and i have not yet seen that bus. I just wanted to call and see what's going on with that?"
    She confirmed some information with me, and then said, "Yes, it looks like that bus is experiencing significant delays, it should be there at about 8:00."
    I checked my watch. 7:59.
    "Oh! That's great, that's great news," i said. "I was afraid it had been canceled, or that i'd missed it, or something. Knowing that it is still coming is a huge relief."
    She kept trying to apologize for the delay, but i was just happy i hadn't been sold a ticket for a fake bus.
    A couple minutes later, i saw the huge Lux Express coming down the street.
    Guess i could've gone for those water bottles. What a stressful hour or so that was.
    The door to the bus opened, and a man in a suit stepped out. "Trevor?"
    "Yes, that's me," i said, trying to show him the QR code on my bus ticket on my phone.
    "Identification document?" I handed him my passport. "Yes, that's you. Welcome aboard."
    And that was that.
    The bus was completely packed. The sign on the top indicated that the bus's origin was St. Petersburg, which was a surprise to me, given the current state of things.
    I emailed the hostel right away to let them know i will probably be there closer to 11. I don't know if it makes a difference, after hours check-in is probably the same no matter how late i am.

After getting this far writing my log, i spent the rest of the bus ride watching Never Say Never Again, the non-canon James Bond movie that Sean Connery did many years after his initial run, through the seats on the person diagonally in front of me's monitor. The bus had an airplane-style entertainment system built into the backs of each seat. The subtitles were on so it kind of worked. Could i have pulled it up on my own monitor? Probably, yeah. But i didn't.
    Coming into Riga, i realized it was after 10, and i had not yet received the email with after hours check in instructions that i was promised.
    I walked over to the hostel, and tried pushing the button to call reception. It rang, it turned on a light to illuminate my face for their security camera, but no answer came. I pulled out my phone to check my email again, and right at that moment, the notification came through that i'd received an email from Naughty Squirrel half an hour ago. Connectivity has been unreliable lately, hasn't it? I don't mean in eastern Europe, i mean in general.
    They'd left a key for me in a locked box, along with a room number.
    Entering the hostel, i was shocked by just how quiet it was. Coming from the Monk's Bunk, i was expecting it to be rowdier. Heck, even Bunks at Rode wasn't this quiet at 3am. It was only 10:30.
    I'm gonna put an asterisk here.* It doesn't mean what you think it does but we'll get back to it.
    I climbed the stairs to the fourth floor, said hey to a bunch of people chatting in a common area, and found my room. "Take any open bunk, there will be a clean towel on top," the email said. So i tossed my bag on the first bunk i saw, with a rolled-up towel neatly placed in the middle, and the two British guys across from me started up a conversation immediately.
    We talked for a while, they seem like cool guys. Archie is one of them, he also works in the film industry, but i cannot remember the other one, and he's the one i was doing most of the talking with.
    They're out traveling for about seven weeks themselves, on week 5 now, heading in the opposite direction. They leave for Tallinn tomorrow, and Helsinki after that. And wouldn't you know it, they're booked at the Monk's Bunk next.
    I got a bunch of my devices on chargers, chugged a quart of water, and hit the bathroom. When i came back, grabbed my water bottles to go refill them for the final push... and dropped my key card on the bed, locking myself out of the room.
    The lights were out, and as far as i knew, everyone else was asleep. I knocked gently, in case someone wasn't quite there yet and took pity on me. Waited a moment, tried the door again, then knocked again, a little firmer, but still attempting politeness.
    I gave up. No one was coming. I started heading back down the hall to sleep in the common room on the couch.
    Then i heard the door open. Someone had come to rescue me. I thanked him and apologized.
    You really do meet the nicest people in hostels.

---

*It's funny that, literally as i was writing this bit out, about the silence, it was 10 after midnight, and loud heavy metal music and a strange obnoxious grinding noise started up outside the window, and continued for several minutes. The grinding's stopped now and the music somehow sounds further away, but hasn't ended. It doesn't bother me but it sounds like at least one guy is having a restless time. Or maybe he's being kept awake by the sound of my typing. I better get some sleep.