Wednesday, September 4
"GAAHH!!!"
"I'm sorry, bro, but you are snoring too loud."
"Sorry man, i wish there was something i could do to stop."
Like. Honestly, what do you think i'm gonna do about it, right now? Like i haven't been wishing for a cure for this for 30 frickin years.
Five years ago, when i was in better shape, i had all but stopped snoring. It was to the point where Amanda sometimes wondered if i was alive while i was sleeping, because she wasn't used to me being so quiet. Since my fitness level has dropped so dramatically in the last year or two, the snoring has resumed. I need to get back to strengthening that diaphragm, i guess. I was hoping to do that anyway.
It was 2:10am. I knew i hadn't fallen asleep initially until at least 12:45, the last i remembered checking my watch, but probably after 1. So i've had about an hour of sleep at this point.
I laid there, awake, listening to the noises of the other three guys in the room. One of them, presumably Mr. Putin, was snoring enough that it was noticeable, probably not as bad as me, though. The other two, including the guy that woke me up, were still snoring, though gently. At least one of them also made weird gurgling noises, plus uttered the Black Speech of Mordor in his sleep, sinister dulcet tone and all.
So sure. Wake me up because i'm snoring. But you didn't do anything when Putin over there in the corner, with the switch to the lamp behind him, fell asleep with the light on and we all just had to deal with it. The guy between us had wrapped a towel around the top of his own head.
God, this hostel is garbage.
The next time i checked my watch, it was 3:05am. I still hadn't gotten back to sleep. I don't know how much longer i lay there before i finally nodded off.
I woke up again because i knew i had snored. Suddenly i was paranoid about it. Took a while to get back to sleep again.
About 4:45am, i sat bolt upright in bed, opened Google Keep on my phone, and typed the following note:
i hax a dream that Wilt Chamberlain was 8'6", but if he climbed up on a roof and laid down, he would stretch to 8'7.5".
And for some reason i thought it was imperative that i send this to Jeri. I restrained myself from doing that, somehow, but the thought stayed with me. Why the fuck would i be thinking about Wilt Chamberlain? I don't sports. I only know his name from stand-up comedy specials that are older than me.
Maybe i'll send it to her now anyway. Now that i'm awake and cognizant, it actually feels like a really funny idea.
I did manage to get up around 7:15, get my shit together, and get out of the hostel before 7:30. My three roommates were all still sleeping, including Mr. Putin, who by this point doesn't seem to have left that bed in 12 hours. I didn't see anyone else as i left.
I walked without direction until i found a little park with some empty benches. I sat down and started looking for hostels. My phone was already below 40%.
Filaretai Hostel. Reviews are good with a rating of 9.1 from 363 reviews, it's 1.11 kilometers from city center. Pictures look fine. The dorms are sold out, but there are privates available for about half of what i paid for the dorm in Stockholm.
I will take it.
I booked it right away, and then plugged in directions.
Oh. It's another 3 kilometers from here. Roughly the same distance as i walked to here from the train station yesterday. But, it's actually closer to the train station than BAR-celona is. That's nice.
I tried to cancel the second night at BAR-celona, but it turns out their cancellation policy is five days in advance. Most of the other properties i've even looked at are one day, many have free cancellation within hours, or at worst, you just don't get your deposit back. BAR-celona is apparently still going to charge me full price for both nights, even though i never technically "checked in."
At this point, i don't give a single dusty fart in an abandoned, decaying Soviet building. The two nights at BAR-celona put together cost about what i just paid for the one night at Filaretai. I'm out less money than my dinner will cost later tonight.
I really just need to make sure i trust the numbers in the future. BAR-celona is rated 6.2 from only 13 reviews. Every other hostel i've gone with has been a 9+.
I plugged my phone into my power pack and hoofed it across town. On the way, i happened upon the Vilnius Cathedral, one of Vilnius's most famous churches. It has a large, cobblestone courtyard, and at one end of it, several pop-up tents had been erected. They were fully enclosed at this time, but emblazoned with banners declaring their purpose.
The Vilnius Marathon is September 8. This coming Sunday.
Dammit. I had searched for European marathons in the early stages of planning this trip, i had hoped i'd be able to run one while i was here, i thought that would be neat. But the only ones that i came up with that looked like they were near my path were one in Finland, which would have necessitated me leaving Denmark a lot earlier and barely seeing Cyndi & Jake, or one in Switzerland, which is 26.2 miles straight up a fucking mountain, and, uh, no thank you. Berlin was also a possibility, except that registration closed in November. Vilnius had never come up.
At this point, no, i can't extend my stay long enough to make the marathon, i have tickets to the Berlin Fantastic Film Festival on September 8th. Also, i have not been training for this, and i didn't pack several of my running accessories. All i've got is the shoes.
These tents are clearly for packet pickup.
But yeah. If i'd known, perhaps i could have planned my trip with the race in mind.
From the church, i was led into a park, where i got a little mixed up on the trails. However, going the wrong way led me to a beautiful statue of three dogs, all of whose heads i patted and scratched, clearly a common practice as the heads and backs are much shinier than the rest of the sculpture.
Back on track, i was led along the banks of the Vilnia River, a smaller tributary of the Neris, and the namesake of the city. This led me to Kalnų Parkas, or Park of the Hills. This was the site of an ancient cathedral which once dominated Vilnius's skyline, a symbol of the city, which was demolished by the Soviets at the beginning of the occupation and filled in as a giant hill, with tall trees planted to take up the profile and remind the citizens what they had lost. Since regaining their independence, the Lithuanian government has erected three giant crosses atop this hill, a new symbol for the city to latch onto. This way, they didn't need to remove the trees; despite their origin, the trees are still a great benefit to the area and there is no reason to cut them down.
Given that backstory, this park has some pretty drastic elevation changes, and i had to scale them. According to my Garmin data, it looks like the main staircase that i ascended was about 145 feet of elevation change, or 14 1/2 floors.
The downhill was not nearly as steep, about 55 feet, or 5 1/2 floors, to the ground on the other side of the park. This brought me into the neighborhood of my new hostel. I was immediately swarmed by children.
There was a school right near the mouth of the park, and apparently they start at nine, because students were flooding in from every direction, and i found myself pushing against the current.
The hostel was only a couple more blocks from there. I found the Filaretai Hostel sign atop a wrought-iron gate, one side ajar, and slipped in. Beyond it was an old, decrepit wooden house. "This must be the place," i mumbled, confirming the address number written on the side. But then, i noticed another building behind it. Still an old building, sure, but much closer to modern, much better kept. There was a sign above the door.
Filaretai Youth Hostel.
Oh shit.
Is...is this a youth hostel?
I pulled up HostelWorld immediately and rechecked the listing. There's no indication on the site that this is a youth hostel, only that people under 18 must be in a private room, not the dorms, and accompanied by an adult. One of the other hostels i'd booked, i think Monk's Bunk but i don't remember anymore, emailed me after i'd made the reservation to say they don't take anyone over 40, so i barely squeaked by on that one. From my experience, though, "youth hostel" usually means you have to be under 30. Am i gonna get kicked out?
Although...i suppose if people up to 17 years old must be accompanied by an adult, their parents are gonna be over 30.
I rang the bell. Waited. Rang again. Waited. There was what looked like a very old-style doorbell a little further out from the doorframe. Pushed that too. Finally, a groggy man opened the door. He looked like i'd just woken him up. The sign said lobby hours begin at 8. It was precisely 9:00.
"Hi, i just made a reservation, i know it's much too early to check in, but i was hoping i could store my bag here for a while, maybe use the bathroom?"
"Yeah," he grunted, and let me in.
Check in is technically 2pm, but he said there would probably be a room open by noon. He said he'd email me when it was ready.
Alright, i've got at least three hours before i can go get moved into my private room. What can i get up to in the meantime? Maybe get something to eat? Maybe just see what's nearby on the Atlas Obscura?
My hostel is technically in Užupis, and the Atlas Obscura article for "Republic of Užupis looked awful relevant to my interests. The micro-nation was founded and declared independence on April 1, 1997, and most people think it's a prank that the perpetrators are just really really committed to, but also...maybe they're serious? It's like a more tongue-in-cheek version of Freetown Christiania in Copenhagen.
Like Christiania, it seems to be largely an art collective. Leading evidence that they're serious includes that founders of Užupis have created and circulated their own currency, designed not one but four flags so that a different one flies in each season, written a national anthem, conscripted a standing army (which numbers precisely 11), but most convincingly, they've written their own constitution and posted it publicly. The constitution consists of 41 bullet points, many outlining basic human rights, but with a few jokes thrown in. For example, #2, Everyone has the right to hot water, heating in the winter, and a tiled roof. #16, Everyone has the right to be happy. #20, No one has the right to violence. #13, A cat is not obligated to love its owner, but must help in times of need.
Jokes included, it's very left-wing, and i love it.
Užupis also has its very own mermaid statue, which Atlas Obscura even calls a reference to Copenhagen's. I found her sitting on a wall near a love-locked bridge with an inaccessible porch swing hanging under it.
There's another impressive church on the other side of that bridge, the Orthodox Cathedral of the Theotokos, which i kind of wanted to check out, but, you know, gosh darn it, i just cannot find it in me to care enough about these churches to pay an admission fee. I'm not likely to walk around for more than five or ten minutes unless there's some special draw. Like a claustrophobic spiral staircase.
Not far from there, i found Literatų Gatvė, or Literature Street, where art works embedded in some of the walls around the cobblestone road are meant to represent famous Lithuanian authors and novelists. This is an Atlas Obscura thing, as you'd expect, but surprisingly it also pops up on lists of things to do in Vilnius for normie travelers, too. Didn't expect that.
It's a pretty cool exhibit, i really admire what they've put together here. I didn't recognize a single one of the authors.
The next closest Atlas Obscura item is the Stebuklas Miracle Tile. I set my GPS to take me there, and was surprised to find that i turned a corner and i was at the Vilnius Cathedral again. I knew i should've checked the Atlas before making the trek between hostels! Could've knocked this one out early.
"Stebuklas" is literally "miracle" in Lithuanian. This tile, which bears the word in a circle around an eight-pointed asterisk, where each letter is at a leg of the star (it joins at the "s" so only one of those is used), is considered supernatural according to some local legends. The myth is, if you stand on the tile, spin around three times, jump, clap your hands once, and make the biggest wish in your heart, it may come true.
From a historical perspective, the tile is important because it is the exact spot where the Baltic Way ended. From Tallinn to Vilnius, ending right here, the longest continuous human chain in history, spanning over 370 miles. Hands Across America didn't even beat this; it had several gaps in it, and the longest completed stretches still fell short of 370 miles.
You could argue that, with the Baltic Way ending at the Stebkulas tile, they did, in fact, get their wish.
The tents were open now. Runners were queueing up to get their race bibs, t-shirts, and swag bags. I felt that twinge of jealousy once more.
I was heading toward the Money Museum of the Bank of Lithuania to hit one more Obscura item when i saw a crowd gathered outside a shop. They were staring in the windows and taking pictures of cats napping on boxes. I looked up.
It was a cat café.
It was called.
Cat Café.
I miss my cat. Gosh i sure would like to pet a cat right now.
I went for it. I know these are popular right now, but i've never actually been to a cat café before.
I had a Vegetarian Murr-Burger, which was quite good, and a Latté-Catté, which was too coffee-flavored for my liking. "It's a latté," i can hear you saying. "What did you expect?"
I don't know, man. I really like chai lattés, and i've been enjoying a number of things i historically haven't on this trip; beer, sauerkraut, blue cheese, some other things. I thought maybe we could add coffee to the list.
We cannot.
They did make a paw print out of cinnamon on the top for me, that was nice.
I pet like eight cats. It was wonderful. One of them jumped up on the table while i was eating, and the waitress rushed in to remove her, though. It was fine. I would have shared my burger with her. I wanted that cat on the table.
They gave me a print of some cat art as i was leaving, as a souvenir.
The Money Museum at the Bank of Lithuania is kind of fascinating. It goes over the history not just of Lithuanian money, which you can imagine is quite convoluted, given their history of multiple occupations over the last 200 years, but the history of human currency in general. As i entered the lower level of the museum, a random guy came up behind me and just started talking to me about the cool stuff in the basement. He was just really excited. He had a strong accent which i couldn't place, which sometimes made it difficult to understand him. I was trying to go through the museum in a semblance of order, but he kept leading me to random displays.
He asked where i'm from, and i said "United States," and he said, "Oh damn, me too! Which one?"
"Wisconsin."
"Oh, i'm from California!"
"Oh, no way, i just moved out of California last year." He didn't say anything, but he seemed disgusted by the thought. Maybe i'm projecting.
He led me over to a bar of gold, which you can lift to feel its weight. It was attached to a barrel, with some kind of hydraulic poles going into the top, to keep you from taking it. He was struggling to pick it up with both hands. "Try lifting this, it's heavy!" he said.
I grabbed it with just my right hand and lifted it easily.
"Whoooaa!!" he said. "How heavy do you think that is?"
"It says 400 oz right here," i said, pointing. 25 pounds. Barely more than my backpack weighed when i left home.
Then he led me over to a side room to show me the thing that i was actually here for, the Atlas Obscura item. The One Million Cent Pyramid.
As the Lithuanian lita was being phased out in favor of the euro in 2015, two physics students came up with an idea to commemorate the currency they'd grown up with. They started collecting the old money's pennies with the intention of creating some kind of ephemeral sculpture with them, which would be displayed for a time, and then donated to charitable causes while it was still worth something.
Their little project received much more attention than they expected, and donations kept pouring in, eventually numbering over a million pennies. The only thing that made sense at that point was a pyramid, for stability.
It took them, plus a handful of other volunteers, three weeks to stack one million pennies into a pyramid over a meter tall, finishing at the end of December, 2014. Given that the pyramid is still there, and no one accepts lita anymore, it's safe to say the donation aspect never worked out.
As i was leaving the bank at 12:30, i got a notification on my phone that the train to Warsaw was leaving in 24 hours, at which point i realized...i never bought that ticket.
Oh shit. I had emailed customer service asking if the Eurail would cover it, but never heard back. If they haven't gotten back to me by now, i can't assume that they will while there's still time. There were only nine tickets left yesterday. It's only 25 euros. Fuck it. Just buy the ticket.
I found a bench to sit down on and figure my booking out. I got through the whole process, no problem, there's still 8 tickets left, and right as i confirmed the credit card details...Firefox crashed.
This shit again. I think i wrote about this when i was having trouble booking the Stockholm hostel.
I tried again, this time using the "desktop site" through Firefox on mobile.
Same result.
God damn it. Okay, i'm just gonna book it back to the hostel, hope it's late enough that i can check in, because that guy hasn't emailed me yet, and do it on my laptop. If i still can't get into the room, maybe i can at least get my computer out of my bag.
Back past the Vilnius Cathedral. Back into that park. I went the correct direction this time, so i didn't get to see the three dog statue. I did, however, get a clear view of the three crosses atop the hill, which i hadn't actually seen with my own eyes yet. So that's a tradeoff.
And i had to climb up that 145-foot staircase again. Went a little better without the backpack this time, went a little worse with a belly full of veggie burger and coffee though.
I was able to check in at the hostel. It was a different clerk at the door. She said it was fine to check in, but since i was early, she was putting me in a room with four beds. I would still have it to myself, it's just that there are four beds in there. Okay. That's fine.
I'm just confused because i thought dorms were all sold out tonight, otherwise that's what i would have booked. But i'm happier for having single occupancy once in a while.
I got some batteries charging right away, since i had just loaded the last fresh R6m2 battery on the way over, took off all my sweaty clothes, and i got the ticket taken care of right away. As i pulled up the web site on desktop, it asked me if i had a Eurail pass right from the get-go, and for my pass number, which i provided. It did not save me any money though, so i guess that question's answered. I could've just done it this way in the first place and not had to wait around for a whole day, but whatever, it's done.
It was 1:00. I was sitting on a bed of acceptable comfort level, in a room that i have all to myself, in my underwear. This is nice, i thought. I think i'm just gonna chill here for a little bit, after my stressful morning.
The exhaustion from the bad sleep last night was catching up with me.
I wish i had at least written this log. I did write the opening bits, up through texting Jeri my Wilt Chamberlain dream, but that's it. After that, i laid back on the bed...
And scrolled through bullshit feeds on my phone.
For four hours.
I wasted the prime bit of the afternoon of my only full day in Vilnius, and i didn't even write my log, or take a nap. I think if i'd taken a nap, i would have found that acceptable. At least that would have served a purpose, making up for lost rest at that shithole.
Jeri didn't even know who Wilt Chamberlain was. I wasn't even sure myself, other than "i think basketball?" I looked him up and found some very impressive sports statistics, and very disappointing personality traits.
I texted with Drew a little bit during this period, who reminded me that it's important to take time for myself to rest while i'm on this trip. My body needs to recharge. I countered that it would be better to rest in Warsaw, i have a few days there, or Berlin, as much of my time there will be spent watching movies anyway. Today was a bad day to waste.
I spent a long time debating if i was even going to get back up and go out, or if i was just gonna call Vilnius a wash. That guide that i had lined up on BeWelcome ended up ghosting me anyway.
But i did it.
I did eventually haul my ass off that mattress, put my clothes back on, and hit the streets once more.
I'm going to split the log here. There was a time when i thought that i'd find myself in bed early tonight, but it's now 12:30am again, and i'm only this far in the log. I really need to get some sleep. I'll finish this up on the train tomorrow.
I'll put all the illegal stuff in part two. That way i can publish it after i've left Lithuania's borders.
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