Thursday, August 29
Don't forget that L'Étranger tickets go on sale at noon today.
Don't forget!
Don't forget that L'Étranger tickets go on sale at NOON TODAY.
DON'T FORGET.
Je ne dois pas oublier les billets!!
I was Johnny-on-the-spot for breakfast right at 8 this morning. Yeah. 8am. They only serve breakfast for two hours.
And it is...sandwich things. Thin cold cuts and slices of cheese with white bread and butter.
There's also apples and cereal. But that's it.
Sure. Alright.
I took a shower this morning, too, after skipping one yesterday. The shower setup here is not to my liking. There's very little privacy in the shower room, and when the door is open, it looks straight down the line of stalls. There's a sign on the door that says "please leave door open when not in use." This shower room is not for modest persons such as myself. Don't look at my weird butt.
I stopped at the grocery store and bought a full day pass for the metro. I figured i'd shoot around the city and hit a bunch of those points of interest that were far away that i've been finding excuses not to go to for the last few days.
First up, the Sibelius Monument, conveniently located in Sibelius Park. Jean Sibelius (1865-1957) is considered Finland's greatest composer. Starting in the late Romantic period, Sibelius composed symphonies which are credited with helping establish Finland's national identity when they were breaking away from Russia. The monument is meant to look like the pipes of a pipe organ, arranged to look like part of the waveform to one of Sibelius's pieces. Consisting of over 600 steel pipes, reaching 27 feet high, it was erected in 1967 by Finnish sculptor Eila Hiltunen. And of course i took a camera mounted on a monopod and shoved it straight up at least one of those steel pipes.
From the monument, i could see a body of water, Seurasaarenselkä, with a pedestrian path along the shore. I kind of wanted to go over there and gaze at the water a bit anyway, but first i popped a destination into my GPS: Pronssikautinen Hauta. The directions told me to walk to the water and head down the path on the bank.
And hey, along the way, i would be passing the Finnish Prime Minister's official residence!
I was enjoying the walk so much that, by the time i came to the Prime Minister's house, it almost didn't even register. The path had parted from the water a bit and led into a forested area; the large estate was situated between the two. I had walked past at least three "STOP: GOVERNMENT RESTRICTED AREA" signs on the wrought iron fence before the fourth sign finally made me aware that there was a wrought iron fence at all.
The house itself is barely visible from the road. But the guard buildings at the gate, and a smaller outbuilding of unknown purpose, sure are. I could barely glimpse the actual residence between these features.
I didn't spend much time on it. I just kept walking.
Soon after, i saw an opportunity to break off of the walking path and get onto another one of those stone embankments next to the water that i don't know the name of, like the one i walked along at the naval base yesterday. I walked in a little bit, then found a comfy-looking boulder to sit down for a moment and appreciate the aquatic spectacle before me.
There were a few other people out on the rocks, including at least one woman out sunbathing in a swimming suit with no shoes. I kept looking around at the rocks underfoot and seeing broken metal spikes poking out of them, as if something manmade used to be constructed here. Plus, cigarette butts, broken glass, and a little bit of other miscellaneous trash. This is not an area i would be comfortable walking around shoeless, and lying down in a bathing suit. Personally. Ma'am, don't take this the wrong way, but i hope you're current on your tetanus shot.
I walked around a bit, curving inland a bit, sweeping back out toward the shore, walking without rhythm. The whole area was gorgeous. And it went on much further than i expected from what i saw when i first broke through the treeline. Eventually, the rocks swung upward, elevating me at least a story and a half, forming kind of a cliff down to the water. There was a flat shelf of rock at the base of the cliff, almost level with the water, and additional sunbathers had taken up residence here.
I followed the edge of the cliff until it ended, then found a slope downward, to that shelf by the water. I walked along underneath the cliff for a bit, until i got to a turn just before the sunbathers. I turned back at that point, not wanting to bother them by entering their space carrying cameras.
After slowly meandering through the rocks for about half an hour, i thought maybe i should return to the path, lest i stay here by the sea forever. The rocks were a bit inclined toward the path from here, so i followed it up. Once i reached the walking path, and the road, i checked my GPS to see how much farther to Pronssikautinen Hauta.
I was right on top of it.
I'd accidentally bumbled directly into my destination. It was at the top of the incline i had just come up, right before the walking path.
Pronssikautinen Hauta is a 3,000 year old grave, and the oldest known manmade structure in Finland. From the surface, it looks like a pile of ritualistically arranged rocks, and all there is to designate it is a small plaque. There are pylons at each corner, with a chain between them politely asking people to keep away, but if you didn't know what you were looking at, you probably wouldn't even notice it was there. I sure didn't when i first passed it by.
I'd traveled about as far northwest as Atlas Obscura entries existed; everything else would be a ways south and would necessitate jumping on a tram or bus. I checked Google Maps quick to see if anything else in the area caught my eye.
"The Meilahti Cliffs." That sounds interesting. Not too far away, and i can keep walking down this path i've been enjoying, back into the woods.
It didn't stay just a path for long, soon i was on a street. Still winding through the woods, though.
About halfway there, something out in the trees caught my eye. I thought it looked like a canoe or other small boat suspended in the air. I backtracked about a hundred feet to catch a dirt trail that looked like it would lead me down there.
There was also a road going this way, so it wasn't like i was getting into anything too remote. It wasn't a boat at all, it was a statue with kind of a scoop for a head, like a spoon with the point flattened off. The rest formed a gangly body, maybe, i couldn't really identify limbs. Now that i'm thinking about it, maybe the whole thing is more of a tail?
The plaque on the base was written in Finnish, and Google Lens couldn't figure all of it out, but what i got is "Daughter of the Baltic Sea." Erected October 17, 1971.
I continued on. Eventually, my GPS just told me to "turn right," although i couldn't see anywhere to turn right into. After about another hundred feet or so, i saw what i thought *might* be a trail? I crossed the road, and jumped into the unknown.
Just behind the treeline, it became obvious that yes, this was a trail. And yes, i was next to a cliff. It was pretty well obscured by the trees from just the other side of the road. I hiked the trail back the direction i had come from, essentially doing a switchback with the road in the middle. The cliffs were not tall for cliffs, maybe three stories, and i kept wondering, can i get up there? I wonder what's on top?
I soon came to a locked door embedded in the rock face. It was covered in graffiti. I wondered if perhaps it was a bomb shelter?
I feel like there are a lot of these in-the-bedrock buildings in Helsinki that seem like bomb shelters. These large rocky areas seem to be everywhere, i'm sure they're neither cheap nor convenient to excavate, so maybe it makes sense to sometimes just use what's already there.
Fifty feet later, another locked door in the side of the cliff, covered in graffiti. Then another. The fourth one was a little deeper, had a bit of an inlet in the cliff faces leading to it; before i came around that corner, i thought maybe this was going to be a canyon that led me somewhere. But just another locked door.
After the fourth door, i found a spot where the rock sloped a bit, and there were trees growing through it. I thought, i've been walking for a while. There's probably a more accessible way up these cliffs, if i keep going; but there might not be. How much further do i want to go before i find it?
Fuck it. Waco.
I charged up that slope, feeling like a mountain goat. I'm pretty happy with my new trail running shoes that i bought the day before i left on the trip, they have great tread and they get the job done.
I wondered if i was even supposed to be up here. There weren't any signs or fences, so i was just going with, sure.
I had been hoping that, from the top of the cliff, i would be able to see the sea, but the trees were so much taller than the ground. It was still a good feeling, being up there, away from the ground, where i maybe am not supposed to be. I basked on a rock like a lizard for a little bit, then followed the rocks to see where they would get me.
It felt really isolated, the spot where i first came up, but soon i started seeing signs that civilization had been here. I caught glimpses of a couple other hikers through the trees, a ways off from me. Then, i came to a clear trail.
Arbitrarily, i chose to follow the trail left. And this decision got me exactly what i wanted.
I came to another rocky plateau across the hilltop. There was a fire ring with burnt logs and not-burnt garbage in it, and as i continued on, signs of another recent campfire directly on the flat stone.
Then the trees cleared, and i saw the sea.
It was glorious.
I tried getting shots with every camera that i had, and none of them could possibly capture the majesty of the moment. A wide view of the Baltic Sea, or at least some inlet thereof, with bits of cityscape barely visible at the periphery on both sides.
I marveled at it. I worked to get here. Not super hard, but enough that it felt like a reward. I made decisions that a younger, more straight-laced version of Trevor would not have been comfortable with. This moment was a culmination of correct guesses and absolute luck.
The glistening blue water was stunning. I could stand there and stare at it for hours.
I climbed down the face of the cliff a little and sat on a cranny, extending the Insta360 on the pole to get a shot of me sitting there, enjoying the moment.
I checked the footage right away with the Bluetooth-connected app.
It's shit.
There's a problem with the stitching between the two lenses. It's too compressed. The shot has cut a significant portion of my torso out. I look like my shoulders are connected to my hips.
I started scrolling back through other footage i've taken on the trip. I haven't checked the Insta360 footage since Copenhagen, when it was all fine.
Everything from at least today is cropped weird. The over-the-shoulder shots that i was lucky to be running the camera for when i discovered the clearing to the sea? I have no shoulders or neck. My head is mounted directly to my mid-back.
Fuck.
My data and cell connections were spurious at best out here, but i managed to get a message out to Drew describing the problem to see if he could troubleshoot for me. I was hoping it was a software issue, or a setting that got bumped, and not that my lenses were out of alignment or something which would require servicing, because that was not going to happen while i was out on the road. I've already got a few dead weight devices taking up the limited space in my backpack, i don't want this month-old camera to be another one of them.
I tried to replicate the shot with the GoPro, but i didn't have the attachment to put it on the monopod, so the results i got were not stellar. That attachment is tiny, i should really make room for it in the vest so i always have it. It's in my backpack right now. At the hostel.
Frustrated, i carried on.
Soon, i came to a disc golf hole drilled straight into the rock.
This is a joke, right? Surely this is an ironic art installation, i thought. I took a selfie with it where i'm making a face, and then started plodding away, checking the map on my phone.
Suddenly, a voice yelled at me. I looked up, and he continued to say words.
"I'm sorry, i can only speak English," i said, a phrase i've used more times than i can count lately.
"Can you move please? You're blocking the hole, and i don't want to hit you!"
"Oh! Sorry," i said, and moved over. Then he threw a frisbee.
Okay. People really are playing frisbee golf at the top of the Meilahti Cliffs. Have fun i guess, i would be too afraid i'd yeet that disc over a sheer drop into infinity.
I felt like i could have spent the day up there, just meandering around, with no objectives, enjoying nature. I've been wanting to get out and do some proper hiking outside the cities this whole time, but it has never worked out. There's been too much rain, i'm reliant on public transportation, the coolest shit i've seen on Instagram is hundreds of kilometers away from the cities, it turns out. But this. This was great. This was exactly what i had wanted out of the trip. Perfection.
There were a few other sights i wanted to see, though, so i thought it was about time to get down and go do that.
Trouble was, i was really fucking lost at this point.
I was shooting a short video clip about how lost i was, when it became apparent i was hearing the sounds of children. I stopped recording, and noticed that, down the trail to the left, it became a road, and there was what appeared to be a school.
Where the trail forked right, there were what looked like a handful of gigantic inflated tarps? Like. These are the size of two story buildings, but elongated tubes of buildings, and they're clearly parachutes with airflow blowing them up. No idea what this shit is.
I took the right fork, and the trail ended at the back row of bleachers for a baseball field. I checked the map, and the buildings at the other end of the field were both identified as sports complexes.
So what are these inflatable buildings? Are these sports things? Can anyone tell me? Because their outlines are on the map, but they are not identified. What sports uses inflatable buildings? Baseball?
This baseball diamond, by the way, was an entirely alien configuration to me. The whole thing is on fine red gravel, and other than the traditional chalk marked lines, there's no division between the infield and outfield, and it's situated in the middle of a huge red rectangle.
No idea.
Drew messaged me back, and i sat at the back of the bleachers for a while, fucking with the settings on the 360, trying to get it back to the proper working order it was in two weeks ago. I couldn't find any of the settings that Drew suggested i toggle, so i just started flipping any damn switches i could find buried in the menus on both the device and the app. I really, really hate that every device has an app now, first of all, but it's even worse when half the settings are in the app, and half are on the device. What is the purpose of this?? Put everything in one god damn place. And put it on the device. The app should be an assistant, not a requirement.
Old man yells at cloud dot jpg.
I finally found something that seemed to make it work, switching the "Dive Case Version" from 2023 to 2022. I have never touched this setting. I have never even seen this setting. I don't know why it would suddenly be wrong.
I found where the trail forked off from the baseball field, and kept following it. I felt like this was eventually going to bring me to a road, i thought i had seen cars moving through the trees opposite me, but it ended up being some kind of small service road leading to a parking lot. I was walking in the road toward the parking lot when a car came up behind me. I stepped off the asphalt for just a minute, and something stabbed me in the leg. Some kind of plant, or maybe i got bitten by a bug, or stung by a bee? I don't know. I checked my leg, and i couldn't see anything. I tried scratching it, but i couldn't even identify where the pain was, specifically.
I got to the parking lot and sat down on a concrete barrier, inspecting the leg more closely. Still no indication of what had happened, no marks, nothing.
This would continue bothering me for hours. It's currently 10:15pm, i'm back at the hostel writing this, and i can still feel a weird itching down there. There's no resolution today; i'm documenting this now in case i get gangrene later. It may never come up again. In fact i hope it never comes up again.
I gave up on finding the road on my own, and plugged in directions to the church i wanted to visit into Maps. I have been having an issue with Maps, mostly in Finland, a little bit for the whole trip, a tiny bit perhaps for the last several months, where i'll be walking and the app is not sure which direction i am facing, or even which direction i am moving.
This was one of those moments. I would be trying to follow the directions as well as i could, and suddenly it would make the dinging noise that it's recalculating. What the fuck do you mean, recalculating?? I did exactly what you asked!! Except now, it's telling me to go back the opposite direction!
It's also tried to lead me through construction zones about seven separate times since i arrived in Helsinki. This was also one of those. The construction was impassable, and i tried to go around, only for GPS to tell me it was the wrong way. I eventually realized that i could go through the covered stairwell up a steep rock face, which looked like it was intended for the construction workers, but then i saw two civilians use it. That finally got me back up to street level. How i was below street level at this point, i have no idea. My internal altimeter must need calibration.
GPS then tried to send me to a tram station to the left, when the tram would then take me to the right, effectively a lot of backtracking. To my eye, it looked like the next tram station, to my right, would be the more efficient option. So i headed for that.
Only to find that the road had forked and i hadn't noticed, and i was on the wrong fork.
I was able to correct and get back to the tram station just in time to see the one i was after departing. So i waited for the next one...which ended up delayed by about ten minutes.
All of this is inconsequential, really. Could delete. But this is a stream-of-consciousness first draft, baybee, and you came along for the ride. Sorry. You're welcome.
I approached the Temppeliaukio Church from a side street, seeing another park on top of a pile of boulders in the middle of a block like the one i visited in the Wooden House District. But i was expecting something different. This is it, i thought. And i was correct.
This Lutheran church is actually carved into the bedrock. As i walked around the rocks, the sidewalk sloped down, and the rocks sloped up, so the wall next to me got higher. I finally came to a door, but it was locked; for a moment, i was afraid i wouldn't be able to get into the church. I really wanted to see this one. More than i wanted to see the Helsinki Cathedral. Obviously, because i was here instead of there.
I kept walking, still descending, and then came to a much grander-looking entrance. Several people were standing outside, but the door was wide open, so i walked right in.
Admission to the church was eight euros, which i gladly paid.
The interior walls of the church are just the bare, roughly-hewn stone that the whole building is carved of. The church proper is circular, and the ceiling is a dome. The center of the dome is copper, which is a very interesting aesthetic, suspended by a ring of windows showing the beautiful blue sky outside. I scanned a QR code to get a guide to the church, which seemed to only be this one room. The QR code took me to a web site that told me to click to download an app, which would then allow me to pay an additional three euros to download the guide.
There were several other areas of the church asking for donations. I felt it was weird enough needing to pay to enter the church, then getting nickel and dimed the whole way i traveled through it felt really. Uncomfortable.
The church is gorgeous, though.
I had a seat and looked around to absorb it all. Atlas Obscura says that the walls are not completely sealed, so when it rains, waterfalls run down them. That must be quite a sight to behold.
I walked around and confirmed that, yep, there was not really anything else to see here. I was only there for about twenty minutes before i left. So. Maybe not the best use of my money.
I continued to circumnavigate the building once outside. I was hoping to be able to see the parking garage, but it was locked; during the Cold War, it was constructed as an air raid shelter.
I found a staircase, and walked up on top of the church, getting close to the dome, but not close enough to touch; there's a chest-height brick wall encircling it. It's still very pretty up there, very interesting to see all the moss and other small plants growing out of the cracks in the rock all along. And yes, the top of the church is set up like a park; there are benches and trash cans and obvious paths to take. I did not stick to the obvious paths.
Checking the Atlas again, it looked like there was another item close by; the Bullet Holes in the National Museum. These are left from the Finnish Civil War, and from the article, i think they're on an exterior door. I didn't think i had enough time left in the day to make it worth entering a museum, but i could at least get a load of these holes.
I walked to the museum, and was once again stopped by construction that i couldn't traverse. It was right at the entry to the museum's parking lot. It did look like the back of the building was being renovated from here, but the signage was unclear whether the entire museum was closed. Also, even if it was closed, maybe i could still get to that holy door? If i just walked around the perimeter, maybe i could still find a way.
Nope!
Plywood, all around the museum grounds. Scaffolding up the sides of the entire building. Whole thing's shut down until 2027.
Cranky, i went to Atlas Obscura, intending to make the edit to say it's temporarily closed, only to see that there's already the disclaimer on the top of the page that says "Estimated to reopen Spring 2027."
This is the second time that's happened to me. They're very inconsistent about this, the other one was hidden at the bottom of the page under "know before you go." Also, many other items have a "Temporarily Closed" tag right there in the title, why don't these??
All i ask is a little standardization in formatting.
Should i go see some 200 pound metal strawberries?
Yeah alright.
I was crossing in front of the museum again, going the other way. I noticed across the street what looked like dozens, if not hundreds, of flagpoles with no flags on them. I kind of wanted to know what was going on, so i crossed the street and looked for an explanation.
The ground they were embedded in was raised up a couple feet from the sidewalk level, and there was a stone retaining wall holding it all in. I didn't see an obvious way to enter the flagpole park. I came across a spot where the wall had crumbled, and it looked like a bit of a path had been worn in there, but something felt off about it. This wasn't an official channel, which wouldn't matter too much to me, except that a non-official channel here would mean there's no plaque or sign or anything to explain. I kept walking, assuming that at some point, i would find a legitimate entrance to this area.
The wall became full-sized, so i couldn't see through it. But i did come to an opening. It led me into a courtyard with three buildings and a huge flower bed. Not what i expected.
I walked in anyway, although it felt weird. It felt like it should be private property, or that i might be expected to buy a ticket to enter. There was one guy on the stoop to the building to the left, and two women with a bike between them talking in front of the one on the right. The one in the center had a sign identifying it as a place of business.
Brazenly, i walked to the left of the central flower bed, getting just past the building, and seeing that the back yard was full of tables and chairs, like some kind of café. I could see the unused flagpole field beyond it, but there were no paths leading there. I didn't want to just tromp through someone's yard uninvited, especially as it was behind a wall, so at this point, i gave up. I will never know why there are fifty or a hundred or two hundred empty flagpoles across from the National Museum of Finland.
Back on track to those strawberries.
I passed a large, official-looking building, which Google identified as "The Neoclassical Seat of Finnish Governance." That is. That is a title. What are you trying to say, Google?
I ran into another protest march. I think this is the third one i've seen? Unclear what it was for, the signs and chants were all in Finnish, so i couldn't understand it. As i approached, they were walking perpendicular to me, from my right to my left. If i had not broken off from the main road to loop around a block looking for the strawberries, which are kind of in the middle of a triangle of roads, i would have run head-on into this protest.
I had seen the strawberries, but walked past them to observe the protest for a few minutes. Then i returned.
As i walked into the empty courtyard containing Oma Maa Mansikka, a woman was there, taking pictures of it. She walked off about as i entered, but i had to wonder if she was also an Atlas Obscura user. I have noticed that someone else has been visiting a lot of the Helsinki landmarks about the same time as me. When i tick the "I've been here" box on a window that's been open for a while, sometimes it goes up by two; also, the main city page lists "recent activity" and another user has had their activity intertwined with mine these last few days. Wouldn't it be funny.
She started walking away as i approached, i don't even know if she noticed i was there. But no one else was there, so i had some time alone with the strawberries. I had a seat.
Oma Maa Mansikka means "My land's a strawberry, other land's a blueberry." This is a common Finnish expression, referring to a custom that the presence of growing strawberries indicates land ownership. In this context, a ten-ton, nine-foot-tall steel strawberry bush outside a government building interprets the phrase as one of national pride. When the Finnish government constructed a new government complex in 2005, they commissioned six pieces of artwork to adorn it; this is the only one that's visible from outside.
Sitting in front of this sculpture, contemplating my next move, i noticed that i could see the protest from here. The march was coming to its destination, the Neoclassical Seat of Finnish Governance!
I thought i was pretty well done chasing Atlas Obscura items for the day, so my choices were either (a) get some food, or (b) join this protest, knowing nothing about it. I don't know much about Finland but i do have a general hate for governments, in a left wing way.
The cops were already there, though, and the chants had quieted down. I probably shouldn't get involved in any ruckus in a foreign land.
I analyzed my options.
Okay fine, i'll go do one more Atlas Obscura thing today. It's thematic, anyway. And it's not far from here.
I'm gonna go pay to enter another church.
As i turned off the main road and into a courtyard to get to the Kamppi Chapel, described as "an alien church" on the Atlas, i was suddenly faced with a tall, green statue. I had assumed the "alien" description in the article was a metaphor! What's up with this green dude?
Then i noticed that there were several large, bulbous protrusions coming up from the ground, with a wide cylinder sticking out from a random side of each. Like if Peppa Pig was just breaking the surface tension of a swimming pool, and the end of her nose was a window. And that her flesh was tiled like the heat-resistant bottom of a space shuttle.
There were two more of these large green statues intermixed.
What a weird place to be.
People were climbing up onto the Peppa Pig-domes. Understanding nothing, i did the same, getting a view of the whole courtyard and all of its weirdness. This is Lasipalatsi Square, at Lasipalatsinaukio. I think it's part of Amos Rex's Contemporary and Modern Art Museum. All i know is, it's very strange.
And the alien church is clearly visible behind it.
I walked up to Kamppi Chapel, which looks like a three-story woven basket. Right away, i noticed the "no photography" sign, which was disappointing, but i was still interested enough in this weird little place of worship to go in anyway. I put the lens cap on my R6m2, hoping it would be enough to convince them i was compliant, and made for the door. There was a sign up that said this door was not open in the summer, so i went around.
At the front door, i found another sign that ticket sales stop 15 minutes before close, and close is 5pm.
It was now 6pm.
So i guess i'm not getting in the alien church today.
Atlas Obscura sold it as "a quiet place in the middle of a busy shopping district," and when i turned away from the church, i was suddenly confronted by that busy shopping district that i hadn't even noticed, i was so taken by the weirdness of Lasipalatsi Square and the Kamppi Chapel.
I thought i'd sit down on one of the rainbow-painted benches and search for a place to get dinner; there was a restaurant on the Atlas that i thought i'd like to try, but it's all the way down by the docks, so i figured we're looking at metro travel again. However, the only unoccupied bench was right behind a food truck, and i was curious enough to walk around and see what they were offering. Plus, i was hungry now. I hiked up that cliff. I haven't eaten since that bargain-basement smørrebrød and Cocoa Puffs at the hostel.
It was a burger place. The menu was 100% in Finnish, the man running it was Japanese, and spoke no English. There were pictures of everything, though. I used Google Lens to translate as much of the item names as i could, but some of it was just, like, "BIG BURGER." Not much help, that.
I finally pointed at something that looked interesting and, according to Lens, was called "BROWN CHEESE BURGER." I don't know what "brown cheese" is, but hell. I'll give it a shot.
What he served me was less a burger and more of a gyro with a beef patty in the middle. The bun was not cleft in twain like a normal hamburger bun - it was hard to tell whether it just continued around like a taco, or if the back was sealed also, like a pocket. Still clearly hamburger bun material, though. What was clear was that the opening went at the top.
It's got lettuce and onions and some other stuff in there, and i suspect that the "brown cheese" may have been a mistranslation of "bleu cheese," but you know what? I kind of liked it! Didn't i have something with bleu cheese in Copenhagen that i liked also??
Has my entire flavor palette changed??
But what really made this thing was the sauces. Sauces, sauces, sauuucessss!!! I've had so much good SAUCE in Europe this month, good god!! Sauce!
I was really happy with my decision.
Other than the fancy herring yesterday, i don't know if i've eaten anything uniquely Finnish since i've been here, unfortunately. I have a lunch plan for tomorrow that's spitefully Finnish, but not traditionally. This burger, though. Can't be mad about it. So good.
Seemed about time to be heading back to the hostel. I plugged it into Maps, and it offered me a bus that was leaving from a stop nearby in a few minutes. I walked in that direction.
When i got to the waypoint on Maps, i was still on a pedestrian-only street, no traffic or bus stops in sight. It led me to the center of the street, where there was a small wooden shack with no doors, and a glass semi-circular booth up against one wall, half of which appeared to be a door. Inside, i could see a spiral staircase leading downward. I thought, oh, it's a subway, not a bus. That's fine, my transit card should work for both.
The door was locked.
I walked around the wooden cube, looking for answers. On the opposite side from the glass booth, there was a metal grate in the ground. I stood on the grate, at exactly the moment the bus was supposed to be leaving from this stop, and heard a noise coming from underground that sounded like a bus pulling away. "That's probably my train," i muttered.
Suddenly, i looked up, and saw a bus emerging from a ramp to the underground, not ten feet away from me. It was indeed the bus that i had intended to be on.
Okay. How do i get down there? It doesn't look like i should walk down that ramp, that doesn't seem safe.
I checked the transit schedule again, there should be another bus soon. Now if only i could find out how to get down there.
I walked back and forth, eventually getting back to Narinkka Square, the shopping district where i'd just eaten. I saw a sign for buses and subways, pointing into a mall. I followed it.
It was indeed a combination shopping mall/transit station, the two blended so seamlessly that it was bizarre to see. Shop, shop, shop, shop, escalator to the subway platform, shop, shop, escalator to below-ground buses, shop, shop, shop, string of bays for buses to pull in and out of.
I was extremely confused. I had only seen the escalator to the subway at first, and, following the Metro logo, went down there, thus accidentally blundering into another Atlas Obscura entry: "Roots of the City." This is a collection of clusters of signs that point toward the birthplaces of current Helsinki residents, hanging down from the ceiling of the subway station like stalactites, emphasizing the city's diversity.
But i could not figure out where the bus terminal was supposed to be. I went up an elevator, then back down the same escalator, then up the other side of the escalator, then found there was a bus escalator across the way, went down that, and found that it was only for a range of bus numbers that stopped well short of Route 70, which i was looking for.
I made my way back upstairs and found that row of bus bays, but these numbers were even lower than the ones downstairs. Nothing even approached 70.
I wandered. I found a map, which indicated which buses left from the hub, but i couldn't find anything higher than about 60.
All told, i probably mucked about cluelessly in that mall for over half an hour before i gave up. There was a tram leaving from an overground rail station five minutes' walk away in twenty minutes. I headed over there.
I was two stops out on the tram when suddenly OH SHIT OH FUCK OH GOD I FORGOT TO BUY THE L'ÉTRANGER TICKETS NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOO
L'Étranger's website is garbage, in English as well as in French. It's difficult to navigate, it seems like someone tried to make an HTML3 web site with only rudimentary knowledge of HTML1. The theater which is hosting the festival's web site is not much better. It's been difficult for me to find my way around the site from my laptop, which is where i've been doing all my planning, and now i have to try and do this on my phone? Ugh.
All my worrying turned out to be for nothing, though. It took most of the ride home, literally i finished the checkout as we pulled away from the stop before mine, but i successfully obtained tickets to all four of the screenings i wanted to attend. So i'm pretty happy about that. I'm still trying to decide if i want to also go to the special screening of Eraserhead on Thursday night. It starts at 10pm, so i'd be wandering the Paris streets at midnight, fumbling toward an unknown hostel, right after watching one of the weirdest films in David Lynch's oeuvre. So it's a maybe.
Man i was really worried that The Thief and the Cobbler was going to sell out! I actually thought i was gonna get screwed on that if i didn't hurry. I probably could have just waited until i got to the hostel, where i already had all the windows open on my laptop and ready.
I sat down to write out my log. I did a lot today! I've been sitting in the open common area a lot during my stay, but i had yet to partake of the hostel's bar...
I ignored that urge for a bit. I started writing. But i kept glancing up at the bar's offerings. Yeah, there's my standard rum & coke, right there on the bottom corner of the board, but. But.
Why can't i stop thinking.
Why can't i stop thinking that maybe.
Maybe.
...
I want a Carlsberg?
I kept writing.
I tried to ignore it.
I wrote the line, "Ma'am, i hope you've had your tetanus shot," and then i gave in. I got myself a beer.
I took a picture of the open beer next to my laptop and sent it to Cyndi and Jake.
"I think yall did something to alter my molecules or whatever."
Beer. Bleu cheese. Pickled herring.
I think a factory reset happened on my taste buds, and they chose a different path this time.
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